part two

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Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Yang: Shit.

Blake: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Weiss: OH MY GOD, RUBY FELL OFF!!!

--

Yang: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Yang and Blake, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Weiss: Our turn, Ruby! One, two, three- vanilla!

Ruby, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

--

Weiss: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Blake: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Yang: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Ruby: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

--

Ruby: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Weiss: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do.
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Ruby: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING BLAKE WITH ME!

Yang, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

--

Yang: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Ruby: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Blake?

Blake: Probably "road work ahead".

Weiss: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

--

Ruby: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Yang: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Blake: I got distracted about halfway through.

Weiss: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

--

Yang: Hah! 69! You know what that means?

Blake: What?

Weiss: That you're a child.

Ruby: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

--

Yang: I just ended a four year relationship.

Blake: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Yang: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.

*Weiss and Ruby fighting from across the room*

--

Yang: Blake, I'm sad.

Blake: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.

Weiss: Ruby, I'm sad.

Ruby, nodding: mood.

--

*Blake helping Yang out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Ruby: How does Yang look?

Weiss: A little better than you, actually.

--

[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]

Yang: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake.

Blake: You're in a prison cell :)

Weiss: You did great. Well, I got a 10-

Blake: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3

Ruby: I got a 1!

Blake: You're in... a cube-shaped place.

--

Weiss: Dammit, Ruby!

Ruby: What?! It wasn't me!

Weiss: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Yang!

Yang: Not me either.

Weiss: Oh... Then who set the house on fire?

Blake: *whistles*

--

Blake: Why is Yang so sad?

Ruby: She took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes.

Blake: And...?

Ruby: She got Weiss.

--

Blake: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Ruby: Are we stealing them?

Yang: New or used?

Weiss: Wonderful responses, both of you.

--

Weiss: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Blake: Is it me, Weiss?

Weiss: No, it's not you.

Yang: Is it me, Weiss?

Weiss: It's not you either.

Ruby: Is it me, Weiss?

Weiss:

Weiss, mockingly: Is iT mE wEisS?

--

Penny: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Weiss: ...Your what?

Penny: My friends.

Blake: Is she saying "friends"?

Yang: I think she's being sarcastic.

Ruby: No, no, no, this is delirium, she's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Penny! All of your friends are in this room.

Penny: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

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