unmendable ⍟ jaemin

↳ 36

" how bout we poison him? " dino suggested, " i mean, based on what we know, he always buy the same coffee from that cafe. "

" so we're playing barista now? "

chenle stretched his arms and with a yawn, he pointed out something quite obvious, " he probably know our faces. its also too big of a risk, " he pulled their several sheets of information paper closer to himself, " we're not the most low-profile gang or anything. we should be glad that our base isn't easily located, who knows what the anyone in the public might do anyways? "

several sighs were heard around the table.

" we'll have to just stab him? "

chenle shook his head, " we cant do that openly, nor can we lure him to a secluded place, also poisoning him isn't entirely impossible, " his head turned to face y/n, " but as i said, its too big of a risk. "

y/n looked at the sniper dead in the eye, she had to do something about the snowballing
guilt inside her before it fully consumes her.

" anything for nct. "

💔

another usual boring day, dino and jisung walking alongside each other, they finally had alittle bit of peace and quiet from the constantly squalling students.

they walked through their usual hallway- a normal thing for all students to do- yet a eyes behind a pair of glasses followed them as they entered his view and disappear as they got too far, the lower half of this man curving up into a triumph smirk though the opaque black mask kept his lower half hidden from view.

" is it just me or is that man always there? "
" at the same spot isn't it? that masked man, " jisung confirmed dino's suspicion, " who is he? "

" he seemed to be watching us, " dino dropped his voice so that other students wouldn't accidentally catch their conversation, " do you think hes part of their gang? "

jisung shrugged as they neared their lecture hall, " he's not always there when i sneak out in the middle of lessons to go to the computer science block though, one things for sure is that he isn't a student and the possibility of him being a teacher seemed less then half to me. "

he pushed open the back door of the hall and the handful of students who were already in class turned to the noise. " do me a favour and not tell the rest okay? it'd only going to make them look even more unnatural, " jisung placed a hand on the older's shoulder for a brief second, "please. "

and he slid into his seat at the back and dino walked to his seat which you could somewhat say was surrounded, by fangirls of course, what else? they began their usual chattering and flirting, dino only being half attentive to what they were saying, his mind floated to the man in the hallway and to jisung. just how much does jisung even do?

chenle entered not long after, his eyes glued to the device in hand as usual and airpods stuffed into his ears. y/n entering only minutes before class started, she had a smile if her face as her fingers flew over her keyboard, he knew that she was probably texting jaemin.

that smile, how he wished it was for him.

of course it wasn't. she was now far beyond his reach and he had already lost his chance as far back as middle school days when he had her all to him yet he could never win her heart over. never.

as long as she was happy, he would step as far back.

and the teacher's voice had to snap him out of his trance, the attention in the room diverting to the figure in the center of the room.

perhaps dino's recollection of middle school days made something click and he almost fell out of his chair out of surprise, " could he be...? "

💔

you couldn't call the atmosphere awkward, perhaps it was due to the silence and the occasional flipping of pages and clicking of pen from y/n. she sat on the floor, papers scatted across the wooden table with short legs and jaemin opposite her, his head propped up by his hands as his eyes glanced from y/n to her school work.

" i can't believe you have to do work too, " jaemin voiced out, " you aren't even a student. "

she hummed a response, her pen tracing random letters in the air as she tried to figure out whatever the paper was saying. she could have just scribbled some nonsense onto it but she'd rather not get herself into trouble, also due to the fact that dino suggested that they opt for a slower pace for the mission so that they might get more information about the gang members and not make any mistakes.

nct members couldn't see the reason to do so. there wasn't much more information to find out anyways, they were the kind to get a mission over and done with but seventeen usually take it slow and carefully.

y/n messed her hair up in frustration, she was never academically inclined and she constantly felt dumb and useless during her schooling days, which was what eventually led to the present- being in a gang and having depression.

insults back in her head again, the same ones over and over again which prompted her to die. she hated herself, she hated the way she viewed herself, she hated how useless she was compared to others, she hated the way she got so easily frustrated, she hated-

" y/n? " his voice gentle like the breeze, soft and floaty, " you spaced out a little. "

she hadn't even noticed that, she felt the pen leave her grip and warmth on her hand, it smoothed her, it made her feel safe. for some unknown reason, she started tearing up. it was always like that, she just had to tear up in front if him again.

was it the warmth she felt? or the fact that he was always there when she needed him? she didn't even know. it might even be because she couldn't help jaemin in anyway. she knew something was up with him, but she didn't know exactly what was. as much as she yearned to know, she gave him the space and time he needed, just like how he would.

" what's wrong? " his angelic face displayed worry, you need not reply him though. jaemin reached out, his hand cupping her face as he used his thumb to wipe her tears away once more.

" you're not useless okay? "

she let out a whimper, his fingers pushing the hair that covered her face behind her ear.

" you should love yourself for who you are, " jaemin smiled, " you don't have to be smart or be particularly useful to the gang or anyone. we brought you in without the intention of you joining the gang remember? you can cry, whine, be silly or be the most clingy person, i would still love you, no we would still love you for who you are because you're you and no one can replace you. "

↳ yes i am promoting self love.
altho i dont love myself or anyt
but i suggest u shld 🤠
yes
ironic
but yes
u shall love yourself
or be loved by me :D