[ boyxboy ]
Lennon Lewis doesn't feel quite alright. He is slowly but surely reaching for the stars with his rock band and is adored by everyone who meets him. He should be happy. But he's either too high or too low. The sweet relief is only tempora...
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Lennon is sitting on the bottom of the empty pool, William is right there across from him, they somehow just stumbled down from their embrace. William looks like he shouldn't be there, sitting on the dirty floor across from a fucked up junkie. He always has an air of sophistication and polish around him even when he tries so hard to escape it. That's why William wearing a clean cut suit, bossing around in that office - it's really not a bad look on him. At all. There he belongs. But he sits here now, legs tangled with Lennon's and they look good together in the way contrasting people and things sometimes do.
Lennon licks his lips - wet and hot, from tears and a kiss observing their differences and contrasts and it's always been like this, the good and the bad at the same time, happiness and sadness. Tears and smiles. Hope and despair. It's ridiculous how much his heart was thrilled at hearing his words even as his head tries to remember that words sometimes mean nothing at all.
"I didn't expect to see you out in the public so soon after what happened?" William asks after a few minutes of silence.
"I needed to get out of my house." Lennon closes his eyes, trying to comprehend how did he end up sitting here with William. He was trying to escape the noise from the house and Brian and Lucian were pretty persistent on the threesome. He told them he will only go out for a cigarette and that he will come back and find them so they can continue, but that was such a stupid thing to say, he could clearly smoke inside the house, loads of people did, nobody cares in this place. Then he ended up here. And William showed up.
"You didn't reply to any of my messages."
"I felt like it wasn't a good idea. I hated your messages," he shrugs it off. "And it's not like we're friends."
"I figured. But I want to be your friend." Lennon takes a cigarette and a lighter from the cold tiled floor. He fumbles with it for a bit, looking at William's legs intertwined with his. He rarely smoked, these are Nate's cigarettes.
"At the tattoo shop I realised how much I like being in your presence. But also I realised I can't be your friend." He touches over his shirt, the place where his bee tattoo is. Silly representation of his addiction to honey. Favourite taste. William's taste.
"But I want to be there for you. I was so fucking worried after I found out what happened at the concert. I can't stand you thinking you don't deserve people being there for you."
"If you knew half of the story you probably wouldn't be saying that."
"So tell me." The volume of his voice raises and his eyebrows knit. "Like I said, I want to be your friend, if you want me to. I can't imagine not being in your life."
"So you'll marry her?" His heart starts to pound, he feels like he's breaking. Again. How many times can William Hamilton-Smith break his heart? "And as your friend you'll invite me to your wedding, right?" William looks stunned.
Fuck. It's happening again? The rejection. This conversation doesn't mean anything. They are constantly going in circles. He's not ever going to dare to be with someone like Lennon. It would be the best if he just leaves now before William says what he actually means - that he has to get married but they can be friends. Just leave Lennon, save yourself another embarrassment, he thinks.
