Empty swimming pools ✓

8. Drive

Red in his face, he blows out the air that he was holding in and sits back on the couch, the one he almost had William on. He can hear William's heavy breathing but he can't look at him. He just needs to calm down and clear his head off William's smell. Off William's touch. Off William's tongue. Off William. William.

"William?" he manages to say slowly searching for his eyes, hoping they will give him an answer. But he is pulling on his hair urgently pacing up and down the flat, lost in his thoughts.

"Lennon, um.. you have to leave." No no no no, that's what Lennon thinks, he is kicking him out, everything is ruined, he will never see William again in his miserable life.

"You're going to be late for your flight. Let's go."

He's not looking at Lennon, just telling him to get up and then searching for what seems to be car keys in some bowl on top of a shoe rack. Lennon is surprised and doesn't really know how to react so he just gets up, adjusts his aching hard length in his tight jeans and decides to let William take his time and deal with this when he's ready.

"You don't have to drive me, please, it's fine, I ca..."

"Let's go."

William looks at him finally, nodding in the direction of the door while jiggling car keys in his hand impatiently. Hair a mess, eyebrows frowned, lips a darker shade of red - evidence of beautiful sin. Lennon obeys and they leave without a word.

They are in a silver Land Rover, driving the streets of Manhattan, tension spreading over the car and making the small space they are in even smaller. William, whose firm and painful grip on the wheel had remained since the journeys started, keeps his eyes on the road completely ignoring the man sitting next him. The silence irritates Lennon. William's white knuckles irritate him. Hopeless confusion on both of their faces is not going away and he has to do something. The car suddenly stops at the red light and William curses annoyed he didn't make the green light.

"Should we talk about.. you know.. about what happened?" The sound of Lennon's voice fills the car and it startles William a bit.

"No."

"So we'll just pretend it didn't happen?"

"Yes."

"Um.. but.. I..Will, I think we should talk about it. At least let me apologise. I'm sorry."

Fuck, he called him Will, he didn't think properly, his brain doesn't really know how to deal with situations like this, Lennon never really had moments of awkward silences after making out with anyone. He never cared. He just wants to go back to how it was before the kiss. He even apologizes and he will beg on his knees if he has to, just to make things right and normal between him and William again. He's ready to never ever kiss him again if it means that things will be ok between them. That he doesn't despise Lennon because of this.

"Why are you saying sorry? I kissed you first." William replies, his grip on the steering wheel tightened firmly.

"I know you did. But I.. kissed you back." Lennon instantly closing his eyes at the memory. They said it, they acknowledged it therefore it happened, Lennon thinks this is a good start.

"I have a girlfriend, Lennon, I shouldn't have done it. I'm not like that. I... I don't cheat. I just don't know what the fuck's gotten into me." he breathes out starting to drive as the red changes to green.

"Don't feel so guilty please, I think I would have kissed you eventually if you haven't done it." Lennon tries to smile to ease the tension. "I have been thinking about it since last night. I just thought you're.. not into guys." Fuck it. He will be honest, it can't go worse than this.

"It doesn't matter who I'm into, Lennon. I'm in a relationship. I'm faithful, always been. I love her and we're happy and I fucking cheated on her."

That hurt a bit. Why, he doesn't know. But Lennon wants to get the fuck out of this car now, realization hitting him hard - he will probably not see William again any time soon - because of this tiny little pond by the name of Atlantic between them, they will not be good friends - when Liam invites William to hang out with them William will probably decline when he finds out Lennon will be there, and they will not be more than friends either - William loves his girlfriend and they are happy together. 

So he really wants to open his door and jump out of this moving steel box. He looks at the cars around and wishes one of them slammed into theirs. There's nothing to talk about anymore. The drive continues. If an accident doesn't kill them perhaps the silence will.

William obviously knows where Lennon's hotel is so he doesn't ask anything and eventually he pulls up in front of the tall skyscraper just next to the World Trade Centre memorial. Two empty square pools where Twin Towers stood, a metaphor for absence and loss and after Lennon leaves this car there will be a loss in his life he is sure.

"Thank you. For the drive. And everything today." he unbuckles his seatbelt.

"No worries." William watches people passing by them on the pavement. "Um... Have a safe flight home."

"Thank you." Lennon is whispering, he wants to say something else. Anything. He reaches for the door. And then suddenly turns around towards William making him look. They stare at each other without words.

"I just want you to know that I would like for us to stay friends William, we got on so well ... I know we only know each other for a day but, honestly.. if you ever need anything I am here for you." William is now looking down into his hands that are in his lap, Lennon still rambling, only wanting to leave that thought there, a glimmer of hope. "And don't worry I won't say anything about what happened. We'll just forget about it. Ok? Just... wanted you to know that."

William's eyes are showing so much emotion but Lennon is unable to completely understand it. He knows he needs to leave William to deal with this by himself so he turns to leave the car.

"Lennon?"

Lennon looks at him excited, one foot already outside of the car.

"Thank you. Thank you for saying that."

He gives him a tired smile and Lennon nods in agreement and leaves.