still friends?

ten

a/n: I don't know why but i'm nervous to publish this.
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TW: Talk of homophobia.

I slammed the door and ran down the street as fast as I possibly could with tears soaking my cheeks. I swung open Billies back door without even thinking twice and sprinted into her room. Hardly being able to breathe at this point.

Billie sat up from her bed quickly and looked at me with concerned eyes. It felt like my heart was racing so fast I'm sure anyone could hear it and I felt as though I couldn't breathe any oxygen into my lungs.

Billie stood up and walked over to me, embracing me in a hug with no words. I leaned my head on her shoulder as she basically held me up. Letting ugly and loud cries escape my mouth. I could feel her shirt getting drenched with tears.

"I-i can't do t-this" I sobbed.

She said nothing as she rubbed her hand up and down my back in a comforting motion. She slowly swayed us back and forth.

"You're okay," she whispered into my ear, still holding me close.

"No" I sniffled.

She continued to sway us back and forth for a few minutes, never letting her hold get weaker. Her arms are the safest place in this world. After I finally calmed down, she leaned back a bit and put her hands on my cheeks. She used her thumbs to softly wipe away my tears that kept threatening to spill. She gently grabbed my hand and led me to her bed. I sat against the wall, with my knees up to my face, while she sat against her headboard with her legs extended.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"Not yet" I hesitated, "Can we just... I don't know, go somewhere?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere. As far away as possible," I pleaded.

Billie nodded her head, giving me a soft smile before we walked out to her car. I stayed silent while she drove to who knows where. I stared out the window and picked at my nails as I watched the sun go down. We drove for about ten minutes till Billie started driving up a small steep gravel road.

"Where are we?" I asked with confusion. I've never seen this place or heard of it.

"To my secret spot," she smirked.

"I thought I've been to all your secret spots," I fake pouted.

"This one you haven't. I promise there are no other spots," she smiled, reaching her hand over the centre console and placing it over top of mine that was laying flat on my thigh.

Okay, that's new. She's never put her hand over mine in the car. Yes, we are touchy and shit but we don't just hold hands in the car while driving and she's basically doing that. The touch made my entire hand tingle and the feeling ran up my arms, sending a wave into my neck, causing my cheeks to glow red.

She pulled into an empty parking lot, completely hidden by trees. With no words she turned off the engine and walked to my side of the car, opening the door and held out her hand. I know she's probably just being extra sweet because she knows I'm going through something tonight; but it's making me feel certain types of ways.

I held onto her hand and she shot me a silly face making me grin a little. We walked through a treed pathway and the sky was getting darker by the minute. As I looked ahead of us trying to figure out where Billie was taking me, I felt her fingers hit the back of my hand. Then I felt her palm wrap around to my palm and her fingers laced in between mine.