𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐇.𝐎 - 𝟓𝟗

𝐤𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐥 𝐠.
𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚, 𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐚.

The sound of someone lowly crying brought me to my senses.

fuck did i die?

I tried opening my eyes and got blinded by bright ass lights.

fuck i did.

It took some time but my eyes focused on a hospital room calming my nerves.

"Dada." I heard Amour say making my eyes dart over to where her voice came from.

Ariana had her face in her hands and Amour was tapping her staring at me. I tried sitting up but groaned in pain.

Ariana shot up with teary eyes and I smiled at her.

She darted to the side of my hospital bed and kissed all over my face with her salty tears.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." She said in between kisses.

"I love you too ma." I tried laughing but that hurt too.

"I'm so sorry baby. This is all my fault, you keep getting in trouble for me when you don't need to. I should've never left New York. If I stay you wouldn't have got into drugs, I wouldn't have got with Bagg, you and Amour would've had a better bond, Everything could've gone so much better." Ariana sobbed.

At first, the stuff she was blaming herself more made no sense but I remember stuffing those same words down her throat.

I'm used to victimizing myself so that everyone else but me is wrong and that's not right. I've done it to Ariana the most and I'm seeing my ways have actually took an impact on her mind and the way she sees herself.

That's not what was supposed to happen, manipulation was how I was taught to get what I want out of people and I stuck with it, but now I see I've been hurting the people around me.

"Stop calm down you ain't do shit. This all on me, every choice I made, I made on my own. You can't put my actions on yourself." I stopped her wiping her face.

"No you were right you'd be fine if I stayed. I should've gone with the plan and you wouldn't have gotten hurt but I was scared you'd find out that I was pregnant by him. I'm sorry I was being selfish but I got an abortion because I-"

"Ariana, you going to be in the hospital bed next. Cool off." I stopped her again. "The past is the past. It's okay."

"I was so worried about you." She hugged my neck.

I weakly hugged her back with my good arm and looked back down at Amour holding her juice cup.

"Let me see her," I told Ariana.

"Your stomach, you just got out of surgery."

"I'll be fine, let me see my daughter."

She mumbled something under her breath picking Amour up. Ariana placed Amour on side of me and I wrapped my arm around her.

"Dada okay?" She looked up at me.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I smiled.

Looking down at her I could tell even as young as she was, she was worried about me too. Thinking about my one year old having to see me shooting out a car and seeing her mom holding me half dead put a lot into perspective.

I can't keep living like this, I have 4 kids and a family to live for and I haven't been acting like it.

"Sherhonda wants you to call her, Quando is fine he had a concussion but he was fine and so is B." Ariana said sniffing.

And Ari had to kill somebody for me. I hate that I even had to put her in that position. I started all this and left her to finish it.

"Thank you." I said looking her in the eyes.

"I did what I had to do for you." She shrugged sitting at the end of the bed.

"Not just for taking care of him. Thank you for sticking around even though I'm the worse possible person for you. You held it down while I was in jail and I came out and dumped you while you was pregnant. And I didn't do my job as a father and you still forgave me after that. I'm the one that need to be sorry."

"It's fine. You just ruined my life no biggie." She joked rolling her eyes.

"Sorry for that too." I chuckled.

"And you can ruin it some more." She patted my leg making me frown.

"No Ari.."

"What? I killed someone for you. We're in this for life."

"Yeah, we are. But the ruining your life part. I can't keep doing that. I can't keep doing none of this shit."

"So..."

"So I'm done starting problems. Death and killing can't be my only outlet. I can't promise that I'll go all peacemaker again, but I really need to get my shit together."

"Thank most high." She clapped looking in the air.

"Bruh shut up." I smiled trying not to laugh.

There was a knock on the door making her get off the bed to answer it. She opened it and the smell of popeyes filled my nose.

"When you get up?" Boomer said walking in with bags of food.

"Lil while ago."

I wasn't fully conscious but I did catch a glimpse of what Boomer did. If he didn't help a little Bagg could've killed Ari too. He was good help and I tried refusing to make up with him.

"Preciate you bruh." I nodded to him as he handed me a bag of food.

He nodded back smiling. "This da business."