Seven Hundred

Chapter 35 Bittersweet

Chapter 35

Bittersweet

“I don’t want you to see that man ever again,” snapped my father.

Nodding, I followed my mother into the house. I felt hollow inside and the last two days of constant lecture had fallen on deaf ears. Someone can only stand to here how stupid and irresponsible they are so many times before shutting down.

“People like him defile the Lord.” He marched in the kitchen, leaving me standing in the entryway. 

My mom tapped my arm and led me farther into the house. I sat down at the table as my father paced the floor. My mother opened the fridge and started cutting out ingredients for sandwiches.

“That is why the Lord had to punish you, Gavin.” Staring at me, he cluttered the counter. “You do realize that now, don’t you?”

I nodded, knowing arguing would just have a bible practically thrown in my face. I didn’t need to be feel even more like shit. 

My father walked over to the table and sat across from me. “But the Lord is merciful and if you repent and change your ways, He will be forgive.” He reached over and patted my hand. “Look what this life style has done to you. To Jimmy.”

My heart clenched at his name, and I lowered my head; the guilt overwhelming me. I’d never forgive myself for what happened in that house. It really was all my fault.

“Repent Gavin and maybe the Lord will bless us with a miracle for the Holloway boy.” 

My mother came over and sat beside me. “We prayed for your safety every night.”

I blinked back any tears that had formed. “Then why did it take you almost two weeks to come.”

“We had to prepare yourselves,” said my father. “I didn’t want to say something that would make your run away from us again.”

I looked up at him, but couldn’t tell if he was sincere. Two and half years ago, every word out of his mouth was filled with hatred and disgusted. I had long forgotten what his voice sounded like when he actually being honest and caring. 

“Is it alright if I go to my room, or what used to be?” I said softly.

“We left it exactly the same,” said my mother. “We had faith you’d come home one day.”

I nodded and slowly got to my feet. I made my way down the hall and stared at the door of my old bedroom. Grasping the handle, I opened it and stepped inside. It was a relic of my sixteen year old self. 

Newspaper clipping of the track team were tapped on the wall. Poster of random bands and athletes sporadically hung everywhere. I hobbled over to the bed and sat down. The dark blue comforter was even the same. My dresser show picture of my family. Benjamin at the time had just returned from his second tour with the marines and one showed us picking him up at the airport. 

I slowly dropped to the floor and laid down on my stomach. Secured under the bed frame, on a shelf I had made myself, I removed the cardboard box.

I sat up and leaned against the bed with it on my lap. Flipping off the lid, I started down at his contents. My secret stash where I hid the men of my gay fantasy. Most were clipping from my mother’s magazine that I had taken out of the garbage. My parents would kill me if they ever found it. It always gave me a rush when I looked at these as a kid, knowing I could be caught at any second.

I flipped through the stacks of pictures before pushing it aside and laying on my side on the light brown carpet. The only man I could think of was Luke. Everything happened so fast, and I was waiting for him to fight for me like he always does. But he didn’t. He told me he loved me and left. I guess I just didn’t know how to respond to that and just went with my parents. That what he wanted. Right? For me to go with them, or at least that what Fallon made him think.