What if I ain't no violinist?

17. Twoset Daddy II

"I know I wanted a little brother, but Mummy is so busy with Brad.. and I never asked for another one..."

"...Have you told your mother about these feelings?"

Brett's lips quivered.

"I dare not say it"

Brett bursts into tears.

Eddy hugged him tight.

"Brett, you are such a kind boy with a heart of gold.  You are also very brave for telling me. I love you so much. Your mum might be a bit busy but she still loves you. And you will always have me all to yourself, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

Fast forward 25 years. Brett is 33 years old.

"Hi Dad."

"Hey Brett, what a pleasant surprise. Come on though and have a beer with your old man in the back yard"

"Thanks Dad."

"So, Dad, um, Kate and I, we're gonna go and see a specialist."

"Oh. Okay. Have you had your sperm count done already?"

"Oh my god how'd you know what I was talking about?! Um.. yeah I've been checked and my count is on the lower side, which could be why Kate doesn't .. you know...get pregnant."

"Hmm, yeah I was like that too."

"You were ??"

"Yeah."

"How come you never told me?!"

"...I guess it just never came up.  It's not the most suitable dinner conversation topic, is it?  I had no idea you and Kate been trying to have a baby."

"Dad, I've been wanting to talk to you about it for quite a while but Kate felt uncomfortable about you knowing about our problem."

"That's okay.  I promise I won't creep her out by talking about it unless she brings it up first."

"Thanks.  So, Kate and I still have hope then? After all, you and mum eventually had me?"

"Yeah, I suppose, with a little bit of help from modern medicine."

"What?? Dad, was I an IVF baby ???"

"Yes."

"OMG, I should've come and talked to you sooner !!"

"...Brett, you were actually a twin."

"What !?!? How come you guys never told me ?? What happened to my twin? Where is he? She??"

"He died at 7 weeks gestation."

"What..?? What does that even mean?"

"He died at 7 weeks in your mother's womb."

"...Like when he was still a foetus?"

"Yes."

Brett noticed tears were welling up in his Dad's eyes.

"And... um... Dad, you're still sad about that..?"

"Yes.. very."

A tear streaked down Eddy's cheek.

Brett didn't know what to say.

"..Your mother and I were so relieved when we were told that even though one twin was vanishing, the other, you, should be okay. And the guilt never left me for not morning the baby at the time he was leaving us."

Brett got up from his chair and hugged his father.

"I think I can understand that, Dad. I'm sorry that you're so sad about it."

".. you know, you actually can't even tell the sex of the babies at that stage, but I had this feeling I was going to have two boys. So we had picked out boys names. Brett and Brad."

"What, Brad!? Like my half-brother? "

"Yeah."

"...Oh no.. Dad, I remember when I told you Mum was pregnant with Brad.. that's why you threw up."

"Oh, crumbs. You weren't supposed to remember that."

"Dad, I'm so sorry you went through all that while you were taking care of me. And mum... f*ck."

"Language, Brett. She's still your mum. Let it go, okay? Don't let any negative feelings eat you up, it's a waste of time. You want to focus on the good stuff."

"Okay.."

Eddy wiped away his tear and smiles.

"Speaking of good stuff... tell you what. I remember seeing you for the first time..."

"When I was born, right?"

"Nope."

"Huh? Oh, so when I was still in mum's womb? You saw an ultrasound when I was a foetus?"

Eddy grinned.

"Nope"

"Whaaat?! I'm so confused, Dad. When ?"

"You were an embryo. There were only about 10 cells of you."

"NO WAY!!!"

"Yes.  You were a Day 3 embryo. A fertilized egg that's been incubated to divide for 3 days. We've tried implanting Day 5 embryos called blastocysts but they weren't successful so then we tried implanting them earlier. The doctor showed us beforehand what they were going to implant into your mum and I got to see you with my own eyes under that microscope. A circle packed with about 10 smaller circles. It was one of the most fascinating things I've seen. I think you're now made up of about 30 trillion cells? You've come a long way."

"Dad, I think I'm gonna cry now.."