Unsteady | ✓

Chapter 31 : Flickering Hope

Months flew by. Gauri couldn't erase from her memory the day when she had last seen her. He stopped coming after that. She had tried calling him three days later but he rejected her call. Gauri understood what he was doing, cutting her out from his life, again. 

Gauri had got adpet at avoiding conversations that somehow bought her past or Omkara into the picture. She went out on weekend getaways with Mrs. Talwar. She had new patients and their problems to occupy herself with. 

A couple of times Mrs. Talwar would ask her how she felt, if she really didn't think about Omkara. Gauri would say the same thing, that she had stopped thinking about him. Yes, that was a lie, at most times. 

It was the last day of the year. The Oberois had invited Mrs. Talwar and her for celebrating new year. Pinky and Anika both had insisted that Gauri come. Gauri couldn't say a no. She had been very cleverly and coolly avoiding Anika. Because Anika meant Oberois and there was one particular Oberoi that Gauri wanted to keep away from. 

Gauri's mind kept looping the last session she had with him. In any other case, she would call it a breakthrough. But that day she had seen how broken Omkara actually was. He was right, she wasn't being fair with him just like his fate. How different was she from his fate that screwed him over and over? Those words he said stuck to Gauri's mind. She had no right to hold onto him if she didn't want him. Honestly, Gauri no longer knew what she actually wanted. 

"Choti, are you ready?" Mrs. Talwar peeped in from the door.

"Yeah, mother India. Are you?"

Mrs. Talwar beamed. "Let's get going then. The cab is here!"

Gauri smiled. Mrs. Talwar was like the sun. Everyday she brought new hope, new light. If there was anything that got Gauri to keep going, it was Mrs. Talwar. Gauri yearned to be like her.

* * *

Omkara whistled to himself as he made his hair. Being away from Gauri gave him peace. His life had gone back to how it was before she had reentered his life. He was empty inside but he managed to smile and participate at least in his family. He hadn't told Shivaay that he had stopped seeing Gauri. Shivaay had assumed that it was just one day that Omkara didn't go. 

Omkara hadn't corrected his assumption and lied to him that the sessions went well. Although, he used the words cryptically most times convincing himself he was not lying. He didn't know how much Anika knew. But Omkara, kept his act up. He didn't want to be a baggage to his brother.

There were days when he wanted to just drive over to Gauri's home and pull her out and take her away. There were days when he wanted to down an entire brewery into his gut. There were days when his anger on Gauri came rushing back and all he wanted to do was go sleep with some woman and take revenge on Gauri. But he couldn't. His body refused to move into another woman. 

He knew Gauri will never stop affecting him. He had accepted that fact. She'd never stop being in his mind or heart. He simply had learned to ignore her presence. 

He had started taking therapy with his old therapist Dr. Rao, secretly albeit. The man was now old, but still good at what he did, even better. Omkara liked how the man didn't scrape or probe his wounds to see their depth, like Gauri did, but simply put a bandaid over it. 

His biggest unattended wound was Gauri, which now had attention. Dr. Rao kept saying that the way Omkara loved her was not right. That the way he was going, he was only creating more toxicity for himself. Omkara always told him that this was way better than anything else. Feeling empty was better than feeling burdened and filled with guilt and regret.