How The Bad Became Beautiful

Part 36 "Do You Want Me Or..."

Raya's POV:

About 2 hours after the Fault In Our Stars had finished me and Nathan decided to get some music on "don't think you'll have heard this song but let me know what you think" says Nathan "okay then" I say a bit unsure as Nathan typed into Youtube The Kill by Thirty Seconds To Mars after a second of buffering the song comes on it has this haunting beginning I have ever heard in a song and the lyrics are really dark and the singer seems to have some underlying anger to his voice but to me, it's like whatever floats your boat, Nathan "not really my thing this song but I could grow to love it" I say "well babe you don't have to like every song I like" says Nathan "well we do in a way have a similar taste in music really" I say "well that's true" says Nathan "even though I do think the lead singer wants to sort his anger out" I say "do you even know who that is?" says Nathan almost as if he's offended, his eyes go so wide that if they were the ground I'd have fell in them with no safety net to catch me, "no who?" I say "well little miss I know everything about music, films, tv and whatever else..." says Nathan I eye-roll playfully before slapping Nathan's arm in the same "cheeky fucker" I laugh "that's Jared Leto from Suicide Squad," says Nathan "never!" I say in shock "look it up if you think I'm lying" says Nathan in a bit of a sarcastic-natured way "bloody will" I say sarcastically, we sit there and listen to the rest of the song until the song finishes with the lyrics "break me down" repeated three times "right my turn" I say, I take the remote and write in Only You by Little Mix get a video on and the song plays.

I start to sing-along with the first line of the song, just in my zone.

Nathan's POV:

Just watching her sing-along to the song, I just smile and leave her in her zone as she sings until the line "and I follow right down the river where the ocean meets the sky to you...to you" and she looks at me, straight in the face and sings to me performing as if she was in a karaoke bar and within all the faces she sees the only person she'd ever sing to is me, I just want to kiss her but I hold back until the end of the song, "where no one else could fix me... only you" her voice slowly breaking, "Raya what's up?" I ask, "nothing just been a long time since I've been myself with anyone not just my friends as Connor took so much of me that I don't know who or what I am somedays," says Raya, "you're seriously saying that?" I say Raya's head nods once which is followed by a shrug "yeah" says Raya "well I think I know who the real Raya-Leigh is" I say "you do?" questions Raya almost as if she doesn't believe me but how can she when she's only met me a weekend ago? but I think I know Raya as her own person "well you're funny in a mean way but you know how to hold your own, you're honest and you know how to do it and do it well, your as mysterious as night but you've got this light that's almost like an aura around you but you just don't realise it, you're a regular down to earth, loving, caring, straight up and honest woman and you have no idea just how special you are" I say, I catch her glance and straight away I am under the spell that comes from just the look in her eyes to the feel of her lips against mine. I don't know why but my next move could ruin things, I can sense my arm going around her shoulders which it does in such a slow manner but I reckon it's the best thing just go in gentle Nathan.

Raya's POV:

Feeling his arm go around me I just look at him before looking down with my head in my hand, what the fuck is wrong with you Raya-Leigh Bennett? I then begin to move my hand away from my face before I land my hand on Nathan's chest almost like a little butterfly has landed on his chest, I glance up for a split second before whispering "come here babe" as I move slowly into his lips, Nathan's lips begin to gap as I catch his kiss against my mouth, and before you know it we're kissing again as if it was the first time that Saturday night and soon one of my other favourite song's begins to play Blue October and I Hope You're Happy what a song!.

I just want to stay there for a while his lips on mine, in my room with the music playing so loud almost as if we're in a movie, I just can't resist anymore I push Nathan down, slowly and gently until his back falls flat on my bed and the back of his head hits the bed as well, I get on top of him, I feel his finger through my messy ponytail, his fingers almost as velvet-like as his lips, he's just so perfect, as he moves his fingers from my hair to the top of my back to the bottom and the feeling is unreal the way he's rubbing my back feels so nice, the way he kisses me is heavenly and the way our bodies are so in sync it doesn't feel really-real it feels dream-like but that's the best way.

Nathan's POV:

Just feeling every molecule of her back, to every strand of her hair, she's just so perfect, so beautiful, her eyelashes that look so exquisite as her eyes are blinked down shut, I wonder how am I the luckiest man in the world to be kissing her lips? to be kissing her lips, to be holding her against my body and her body against mine, her groin against mine and the thought of trying to not pin her down and start to have sex isn't even crossing my mind I respect her so much in this short time I have known her but I want to feel her fingers running through my hair her eyes looking up at me the way I am doing now. I catch her gaze as she rises and gasps for air, her breathing slow, her two strands of hair flopped over her face, her big, brown, beautiful eyes looking into my eyes and she looks at me frozen, my eyes just highlight her face as if it was the last time I would ever see her "Raya-Sunshine you're the most wonderful woman I've ever met" I whisper, "Nathan Daniel Walker stop being so fucking perfect babe" says Raya "alright then" I say, a cheeky smile comes across my face as I flip Raya off me and pin her under me "cheeky fucker!" Raya's laugh is just infectious that we're both tangled up in each other, laughing until I feel Raya's fingers against my face, I let her fingers gently fall down my cheek until I shake my head "what are you doing to me, Raya-Leigh Bennett?" I ask in a whisper "I really don't know but whatever it is you're doing the same to me" says Raya, her hand cradles my cheek for a moment until I drop a kiss in the palm of her hand, before taking a glance into her eyes and kissing her until it becomes like an addictive substance better than nicotine or any other stronger drug and I know I'm crazy about Raya.

It isn't until a few minutes of kissing later that I see her eyes sink, before rising again, her mouth gaps a little "so I need to know..." says Raya "yeah go on" I say "I need to know... do you want me or is this all?" says Raya, my head looks to the left side before I sink my head and whisper "I want to be with you"  I catch her eyes light up like a million tiny candles have been lit a light in her soul and we carry on kissing. 

Raya's POV: 

The way we are entangled in each other is just like there is nothing in the world that could ruin what we have and what has just begun feels like the bad that I have experienced and the bad Nathan has experienced has just melted away to become this beautiful, perfect scene that is on my bed at the moment, feels like there is no one else in the room except me and Nathan and things couldn't be any more perfect, my heart began to uncage the butterflies I have been holding in my heart that I couldn't have given Connor in a lifetime of chance and Nathan is the one who holds the key to the butterflies that live within my heart.