LOTR/ TH Imagines

You're not a Failure- Kili

-.-Edited-.-

This was your favorite place to go in Erebor: a secluded cave with a turquoise pool that glittered with the small beam of moonlight. The walls were streamlined with mithril and the floor was smooth enough to sit comfortably. You went here whenever you wanted to be alone.

And today, you were glad for the solitude. The despair had come flooding in and you wanted no one else to see you cry or hear the wracking sobs echo through the halls.

Your back was pressed against the cold stone and your cheeks were red with tears. You found yourself wishing for the only other who could understand-- the only one who could ease your aching heart-- to be with you.

You were only a small child when you saw Thorin scolding a young boy.

"Lift this," Thorin commanded as he gave the boy an ax and a shield. The boy fell to the ground under the weight of the weaponry. He struggled to regain his feet. When he did, the boy was not able to shift the ax and shield. "I cannot believe it. Your brother was able to lift those at your age."

The boy whimpered, "But--"

"I'm disappointed, Kili. I expect that next time I visit, you will have improved." Thorin stalked off. Once he was out of sight, you heard a stifled cry. You ran over to the boy.

"Hello," you greeted kindly, "My name is Y/n. What's wrong?" You being a small child yourself, you didn't quite understand. Yet, you knew that you wanted to help him.

"My uncle does not believe in me. He says I am not a true dwarf and yells at me for not being like my brother, Fili. All the others yell at me, too. I bet I'm the only dwarf in history who can't lift an ax." More tears dripped down Kili's face. You were surprised that you could relate to his problem. You loved fighting but the other dwarves would leave you out and make fun of you for being a girl. In a way, you were relieved to have someone who could understand.

"You are not a failure, Kili. Your time will come; never give up." You took out your bow and offered it to him. "Maybe could help you." You gave Kili a hug and stayed with him for the rest of the day. You would practice archery with him as time passed. From that day, you knew you had found a lifelong friend.

Years later, you found yourself again with Kili and the Company. You and Kili were great friends, but the rest of the Company (except Bilbo) excluded you. Your feeling of despair from childhood came back. One day you were all alone, sniffling back tears.

"Y/n?" Kili called. You could hear his footsteps as he approached.

You straightened and wiped the water from under your eyes. "Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." You refused to meet his gaze. You raised a dismissive hand, waving it through the air like it was no big deal.

"Is it what Thorin said?"

"Yes," you admitted.

"You are not a failure, Y/n. Your time will come; never give up." Kili put a hand on your shoulder, comfortingly. The familiarity of the phrase brought back the memory of the day you met. A fond smile tugged at the corners of your lips. He continued, "Don't think of yourself the ways others tell you. I think you're just fine the way you are."

"Thank you so much, Kili!" You gave him a hug; he held you close. "I couldn't have asked for a better friend!"

Now you sit in the cave, sniffling back tears. No one came to comfort you. The battle for Erebor had been won with a high price. The exact price was thousands of lives, including your best friend Kili.

"Y/n?" A voice echoed through the halls. You knew whoever was looking for you could never be able to find you, given that you had to climb from the pathways to get there. You wiped at your tears and decided to see who it was. You slipped out and stepped into the light. "Ah, there you are, Y/n." Balin came up to you.

"What do you want?" you snapped.

"I know these past few weeks have been hard without Ki-, these past few weeks have been hard. But there is so much to do now. Nobody, especially not him, would want you to spend your life alone in sorrow."

"Balin-"

"You aren't a failure, Y/n. You never were. Your time has come to live your life with the many people who love you and admire you. Never give up, lassie." Balin left you, shocked, in the hallway. The words hung heavily in the air.

Kili would have said the same thing. He wouldn't want you to waste your life dwelling on grief. He would have wanted you to cheer up.

When the sun turned the clouds orange, signaling dawn, you got up out of your bed. Instead of going to your cave, you joined your friends in the great hall.