white sabered || kylo ren x reader

Seventeen

Oh, this was going to be fun.

This was going to be dangerous.

You tiptoed on the cold, black tile, almost as if you were scared that if you walked too hard that Kylo would hear you. Chances are he would.

Your first thing to go for was his wardrobe once more, digging about and pulling out a kindly dusty mask. It was almost identical to his recent one. You slid it on your head, how the hell did he see out of this thing? It swallowed your entire head, causing it to miss your eyes by a few inches.

You pulled it back off, throwing it back into the dresser. Enough of that. You walked over to his desk, digging around in some of the drawers to find old knick-knacks from different planets. Even though you knew these were probably from planets Kylo's Order had wiped out, you couldn't help but view the small collection as cute. In another drawer was oddly spare lightsaber parts, they seemed to be from an old Jedi saber. You hadn't even seen a true Jedi in your life, and you doubt you ever will. In another drawer were old papers of plans to defeat certain planets and schedules of import and export routes. Boring.

Finally, you dug out an old, worn down journal. You couldn't help but at least open to page one, scanning along the words. You made yourself comfy on the floor, resting on your knees.

"Please do not read. This journal belongs to BEN."

Ben? Who was Ben? Was this one of his victims that he decided to be nosey with?

You couldn't help but turn to the next page, continuing to read. Even though the first page asked politely, you simply couldn't resist the urge that was tugging at you to read on. Besides, this wasn't Kylo's journal anyways. Why would he get angry at you for reading a journal from a boy from some other planet that he probably mutilated?

"I cannot believe what I have done. The Jedi Praxeum is engulfed in flames. My uncle just tried to kill me, and I have nowhere to go. The Dark Side has consumed me whole. In this moment I am beginning to believe what my dreams speak of to me.

Surely my mother and father do not want me after this. What if they had put my uncle up to this? What if-"

Your name being boomed throughout the room caused you to practically scream out of sheer fright. Then again, you knew what you were doing was wrong.

You were scared, no, you were mortified to turn around and face Kylo.

You finally pivoted on your heels and stood, Kylo had already taken his helmet off to stare you dead in the eyes. His jaw was already set airtight. Oh, he was mad.

"What do you think you're doing?!" He gripped tightly onto his helmet that was held in his right hand, lightsaber in the other. This was it. Out of all of your near-death moments with Kylo, this was where he killed you.

You could barely scramble for words, your heartbeat escalating so fast it became hard for you to breathe. A sour taste settled in the back of your throat, causing you to feel sick to your stomach. Your eyes searched the room for answers or excuses, but there were none. You were just being outright nosey.

"Well-Well I had returned back t-to your quarters and-and I just saw the journal. I-I thought it was one of your victims so-so I thought I would just take a peek-" You decided to stop yourself from feeling even more embarrassment, clutching around at your sides. Your anxiety was through the roof, and your uncontrollable trembling didn't make it any better.

"Why were you looking in the first place?" Kylo hissed menacingly, throwing his helmet down to the floor and outstretching his hand. Your throat began to collapse in on itself. You immediately began to feel lightheaded, hands grasping for your throat in a pathetic attempt to get some air down. You wanted to fall down to your knees, but the force was holding you up.

In a panicked burst of stamina, your outstretched your own arms, attempting to throw Kylo back into the wall. It was a bad decision within itself to try and pick a fight with Kylo, but it was your very last resort. He only stumbled, but it was enough to get him distracted. The pressure on your throat finally released, and you fell down to the floor. You were only allowed to be a gasping, sputtering mess for a few seconds. Kylo was already above you, picking you up by the arms and slinging you onto the bed. "Why can't you just listen? What the hell is wrong with you?!" He seethed, almost as if he were in pain. You had only seen this side of Kylo once, and you truly never wanted to see it again.

You picked at your sleeve nervously, still processing his viper sharp words. "Kylo I-I just.. I wanted to know more-" You tried to explain. "I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to see all of you and-and my curiosity took over." Your words were barely audible, tears pouring down your cheeks.

Kylo only stared at you, looking you up and down. He took in a deep and sharp breath, exhaling slowly. It was as if he reminded himself about last night. That you genuinely cared. His shoulders relaxed, and he took in another breath before speaking. "Next time, I would rather you ask than rummage through my privacy." He retorted, but his demeanor and tone were softer. The flame that raged in his eyes had diminished to those amber embers you were all too familiar with.

You were silent, staring down at the floor, struggling to blink away tears. You didn't feel like replying.

You heard your name ever so softly fall off of Kylo's lips, and suddenly you were being scooped into Kylo's arms by the thighs. You whimpered, holding onto Kylo's shoulders for balance. You wrapped your legs around Kylo's waist, resting your head on his shoulder. Even after the roughest of fights, Kylo's embrace never failed to make you feel like you were a certain kind of special. His outbursts were just another part of him that you knew needed to be healed from years of the dark side's torment.

"My name is Ben." He whispered, wrapping his arm around your back and sitting down where you once sat on the mattress.

You raised your head up, confusion ridden. "Your real name isn't Kylo?"

Kylo bit his cheek. "I wanted to destroy the person I was in the past, that included my name." He explained. "I am Ben Solo."

You wanted to ask more, receive more, know every little waking detail about everything Kylo is and use to be. "Ben." You whispered, carefully running a shaky hand through his wavy raven hair.

"You will still refer to me as Kylo Ren. Ben is dead." He whispered firmly, forcing you to look into his eyes by taking you by the chin. His gestures were much softer from earlier. "Ben is dead." He repeated. Okay, so Ben is dead.

You stared into those copper-colored eyes, absent-mindedly coursing your fingers through his curls. There was another moment of silence, just the two of you taking in the moment of the room and the closeness you two ever so rarely shared. Oh, how pleasant it felt to be Kylo Ren's 'pet', regardless of what Hux said.

Before you could speak again, Kylo's lips were on yours. It was different from last time. This time they were gentle, caring, but also hungry. Hungry for something only you could provide.

You closed your eyes, immediately becoming heated in the kiss. These feelings that were washing over you were so foreign, yet they felt so good. You couldn't stop yourself, one of Kylo's hands pressed against the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss, the other wrapped firmly around your waist. You couldn't believe you were doing this with someone who just proved to you mere minutes ago he could kill you with a simple flick of the wrist.

"I hate hurting you." He parted the kiss, mumbling his words in between even more kisses.

"I hate hurting you too." You whispered, returning back every single kiss.

"You look-" Kylo interrupted himself with another kiss. "-extremely attractive in my cape." He admitted.

You were seeing so many new and different sides of Kylo so fast. You had never felt this aura of Kylo. It was something entirely brand new. It was an unkempt hunger. A restrained hunger. A hunger for you.

"I thought you might like it." You replied, forehead now pressed against Kylo's. "Seeing as you want me to be your right-hand man so terribly bad."

"Hell." Kylo cursed, standing up with you still in his lap. He threw you onto the front of the bed, your head hitting against the pillows.

"I don't want you to be my right-hand man." He muttered, hastily crawling on top of you.

"I want you to be my empress."