white sabered || kylo ren x reader

Nine

Dust clouded your vision as you crawled towards the exit at the balcony, practically swimming in the debris. Of course, the ladder had been destroyed, so you were forced to jump.

You jumped, landing with a hard thud and a groan, causing you to immediately put a hand over your mouth. You swirled around, seeing the TIE fighter now landed and stationed to open. Your eyes widened in horror, and your feet began carrying you before your brain could even tell you to. Tears were already starting to blind your vision. You had just felt so happy, so at peace. You felt at home. That's all you ever wanted.

Your name echoed throughout the forest with the thundering sound of the TIE fighter's exit to reveal the infamous Commander. You didn't even bother to turn around. You just wanted to get away from him. You wanted to get back to the escape pod. Maybe you could start it again and get to another planet before he caught up with you!

Pain cracked over the crown of your head, and this time you freely screamed out in pain. You stumbled, but continued to run as fast as you possibly could. Footsteps thundered behind you, alerting you that he was now chasing after you. You finally were becoming exhausted, using this as your chance to catch him off guard. He viewed you as a coward anyway. You swiftly ignited your saber, doing a full circle to slash at the damned man behind you to get a lethal hit.

What you were met with instead was his lightsaber against yours. You faltered, but quickly began to remember all of those pieces of training you had done with Kylo. They all flooded back to you, connecting each and every move you made on him. He clenched his jaw, and you knew he now cursed himself for teaching you. You began to wonder why he even bothered teaching you in the first place when he knew you would use it to rebel.

"Let go." His voice boomed in your face as you clashed once more.

"No." You tried to echo the same tone, but it was obvious Kylo's was deeper.

The brawl carried on, and you were actually beginning to gain the upper hand. You smiled in triumph, battering Kylo with hit after hit that he barely managed to block. You saw a look of frustration straining his features, cursing under his breath.

"How does it feel Kylo Ren? How does it feel to be bested by a woman from a worthless planet? From a planet nobody has even heard of? How does it feel?!" You egged on, a sickening smile curving onto your lips.

You were getting carried away mentally, and Kylo could tell. Your brain was fogging with the sweet taste of revenge. The fight was becoming so heated, sweat dribbled down your two foreheads. You were slowly picking away at Kylo's pride with each and every word you spoke. You were on a steep incline to winning, so finally, Kylo had to pull the plug.

"Enough."

Kylo had knocked you on your back, part of you hitting the mossy earth below. Kylo's breaths were ragged.

"They're dead."

The words cut you like razor blades. You knew exactly what and who he was talking about. Immediately, you were struck down from your all-time high. The air seemed to leave your lungs all at once while you stared up at the man who had just broken that fateful news you never wanted to hear.

He gulped in another bout of air. "You really want to know what happened? They were caught. Illegal trading and supplying of The Resistance. Punishable by death within First Order. They fell into our trap. It was protocol." He was practically hissing at you, veins protruding from his forehead in an effort to keep his anger restrained. "They had mentioned you. They tried to use you as an excuse to exempt their treason. Phasma was having none of it, rightfully so. They are the reason you are in the situation you are in now. It's their fault you're even in this position. They told us all about their force-sensitive child. How you would come looking for them. They were so foolish."

"You have no home now. They're gone, somewhere in a shallow grave on Starkiller along with the millions of others who have been executed. They're worthless bones!" He screamed down at you now, but you simply laid in silence, taking in every word he said like bullets to the chest. The pain barely had time to even settle as more and more information spilled out of the rampaging monster in front of you. Rain began to fall on your face, wetting both you and Kylo.

"I wanted to keep it from you. I wanted to train you and help you achieved the potential they were shackling you from! You could be so much more than a defender from a worthless planet!" He echoed your name, Kylo's tone almost becoming desperate. "You don't listen, you don't follow my rules, and most importantly you keep running away! I should've executed you long ago like Supreme Leader Snoke had advised me to. I was foolish not to." You thought his murderous words would never end, but he had finally paused. His breaths were still ragged and his eyes still aflame, but you could see he had finally found some self-control.

You finally took in a strangled breath yourself, and every single floodgate opened. You cried out, your sobs echoing throughout the forest. Your lightsaber scorched the moss beside you where you had dropped it, and right at that moment, you considered taking your own life with it. All the childhood memories of Atticus and Jacqueline seemed to flash before your eyes as if you were holding your own funeral for your unbiological family out of pure memory. You dragged yourself close enough to grapple the lightsaber, handing it over to Kylo Ren without a second thought in your mind.

"Please kill me." You finally whimpered out, sobs interrupting every breath.

"Please kill me, Kylo Ren."

Kylo's demeanor suddenly shifted. He looked down at you with furrowed eyebrows. "What?"

"Kill me." You repeated. "I don't-I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be anywhere but here. I just want to be at home. I want to be with my people and having communal with them. Hell, let me join Jacquelin and Atticus in the bittersweet sensation of death. Anything would be better than here!"

Kylo now let out a repressed sigh, walking over towards you and scooping you into his arms, grabbing your lightsaber in the process. You didn't stop him. You didn't have the strength to.

He turned around, silently walking you back to his TIE fighter. He didn't speak a word, yet you were still quietly sobbing as he let you rest in his lap while he powered on the ship. He lifted off, taking you back to The Finalizer. You were both completely soaked. The whole flight you sat there and cried, but he still ignored you. You shivered violently from the chilly air of the TIE fighter. He didn't mention it. It was as if you weren't even there to him. You didn't bother to talk, though, nor did you want to. He had murdered Atticus and Jacqueline in cold blood. He was a monster, but where were you to go? The TIE fighting only had one seat. Although you consider it might even be better to lay on the crowded floor than sit where you were sitting right now.

After minutes passed by you felt the ship come to a stop, and you looked up to see you were back in the exporting area of the huge flagship.

"Get up and get out." He mumbled, nudging you on while the sound of hissing came from the back of the fighter, signaling it was opening for you to go.

He latched on his helmet, right on your ankles the whole time you made your stumbly exit, tears still gathering at your chin. Two stormtroopers awaited you, and you couldn't help but wonder if one of them was AT. Your vision was too blurry to examine the shoulderblades.

"Escort her to one of the prisoner cells on the ship. I want her under surveillance at all times. If she tries to escape... Shoot her." His last commander sat like a rock in your throat, and you looked back at him with fear stirring in your eyes.

The troopers took hold of both of your arms, and you seethed in pain. You had a now purpled bruise from Kylo Ren throwing you to the ground, and the stormtrooper to the right of you grabbed onto it extremely harsh.

You turned your attention back to Kylo Ren, tears brimming your eyes once more.

"You'll be the death of me, Kylo Ren."