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tonight was jimin's biggest nightmare, the one that for sure will haunt him every time he's asleep or even not. all of the things the two of you had done together, it might be only memories if your heart doesn't seemed to continue beating. your body is laying down on the hospital bed, hoping you'd wake up any time and the rate of your heart beat is being shown on a small like tv.
your lover was sitting impatiently beside you, heart is pounding fast but every beat hurts. he couldn't stop crying when the reason behind of what happened to you was him. you take the blame for trying to kill yourself by drinking lots of pills and if you could see jimin crying and so broken in front of you? your body would definitely give up and couldn't even blame him for anything.
he left you because he couldn't give you the time you needed. his schedule is rough and he thought that having a girlfriend won't work out because of his job. when he's out for concerts, he realized you're his courage and strength to show up in the stage with so much confidence and love. you filled him up with happiness that he won't find in anyone else.
he hated himself more than ever when his everything's life is on a dangerous line. all of what you had done for him to make him love himself the way he loves you, it all ended up hating himself over again and for him to be whole and free from the sadness caging him, he needs you to at least wake up.
his mind is foggy with so much thoughts and regrets, it was all blown away by namjoon coming inside the room. he noticed the dark color coating under his eyes due to the lack of sleep because why he wouldn't be? the woman he had loved the most is right in front of him, body looking helpless and wrist filled with cuts that he hated and avoided to look at.
"her parents found this letter for you inside the box filled with your pictures with her," he sighed and handed him the letter. eyes softening at the sight, he's hesitate to take it because it'll for sure break his whole being. he clenched his jaw and took it from his hand, the older glanced at you with pity in his eyes.
"i don't want to lose another army." namjoon shook his head with his eyes welling up, he couldn't look at you for a whole minute because it's breaking his heart in a way that he couldn't bare.
"she'll wake up, she will." he clenched his jaw and nodded his head as he spoke as if he's sure about it. meanwhile, jimin couldn't control the tears coming out from his eyes. namjoon heard his sobs, his breaking heart again with the two people he loves looking so broken and lost. to comfort him and give him a time, he massaged his shoulders as a comfort before leaving the room.
he stared blankly at the letter, letting his tears fall out with his heart feeling numb for feeling too much pain all at once. he gulped before taking a huge breath and open it, his hands started trembling and another sob came out his swollen pump lips. he flicked the paper to open it, revealing a hand written letter all for him.
this is for the man i have loved more than myself,
ever since you left, i also lost myself. i figured out that you loved me when i couldn't love myself and that makes me love you like how you taught me to love myself. but the thing is, i loved you more than i ever will on myself. jimin, you're my fucking everything. i mean it. you really are.
you were there for me through everything and i was there for you too, we grow up together and make sure to fix each other if it's needed. but now that you left, how am i going to fix myself when you're the one who completed me from the start?
losing myself once again is terrifying but losing you is the most terrifying thing. you built me, you made me whole but you also just broke what you built. but even though this is how it ended, i never once regretted loving you. i never blamed you for leaving me because i was sure you'll find someone else better than me.
because you are you, park jimin. you are filled with so much happiness and love that anyone would like to have in their life. i believe that you are meant to be with someone who's not me. and if you meet that someone, don't let her go or even hesitate to love her back. i had given you everything that i can and you have it now, my everything.
i'll never stop loving you remember that. until we meet again, my one and only.
love, y/n.
the pain weakened his body and words couldn't exactly describe how much it hurts but his heart was only tortured even more when he heard an irritating noise coming from the tv. he glanced at it with tears running down his face, it's starting to form in a straight line. his lips went dry when he noticed your face looking pale as he rushed outside to get some help.
the other members waiting outside are pulling him with them when the doctor and nurses are only needed inside the room to revive the smallest chance of you waking up. he was sobbing in their arms, they also look broken but jimin was at his worst. they shed a tear as they watched jimin curled up on the chair, being hugged by jin.
his hoodie is being drenched by him but it didn't matter as of now when all they think about is you, hoping that the doctor would come out with a good news. jimin's breathing pattern is becoming uneven when he started overthinking, hands going cold and his vision turning into black. he couldn't hear anything right but only muffled voices from his closest friends.
when he woke up, he was laying down on the hospital bed and shocked that you're sitting beside him. you smiled weakly at him and ran your fingers through his soft hair.
"you're alive?" he exclaimed and quickly hugged you, tears are now again running his cheeks when he finally got the chance to embrace you when he thought he's about to lose you. cupping his cheek stained with tears, "i love you so much, i'm going to miss you. i'm sorry."
he saw a tear running down your cheek as your head is tilted aside, his eyebrows knotted and before he could even ask the question why, you disappeared like a bubble. he inhaled a huge breath and found himself sitting up straight, he really has now woken up.
just like his dream, he's on top of a hospital bed with his friends crying in front of him. taehyung is resting his head on jungkook's chest as they sob. hoseok is walking back and forth, his nose is red from crying and tears just won't stop falling out from his eyes. namjoon and jin is sitting, crying their heart out just like the others. his heart dropped as he hoped that what he's thinking about isn't it.
"hyung, what happened to her? where is she?" there's a moment of silence before namjoon even got the courage to tell the words that he doesn't ever wanted to hear or say but he has to.
"we lost her, jimin. she's gone." his body trembled and all of them continued sobbing when tears are running down his cheeks and his heart felt numb but is filled with so much pain. she isn't, he shook his head and preferred to think that she's not yet gone. he has a strong feeling that you still aren't.
someone knocked on the door, a nurse who seemed to come from y/n's room appeared with a smile on her face, "we are able to save her."
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lol i hate sad endings so i had to. plus, wdyt of publishing a smut book?
