Pharaoh's Eye

Pharaoh's Eye ♋ XL

Caira

I know I'm not the only one, I damn sure know I'm not the only one . Every female has gone through this more than once, wanting somebody when they finally stop wanting you . This is my first time feeling like this, with anybody not just him . No I'm not talking about Julius either, I'm talking about Jermaine . Like I don't understand why this shit is happening me to me, like I separate myself from situations and it backfires . I stopped talking to Julius and Rico so I could focus on myself, cut Jermaine off before things deepened . Now O'Neal is coming into the picture and as much as I don't want to I'm starting to really like him, I'm beginning to see Jermaine in a new light too and I can't understand why .

That night O'Neal wanted to chill, I went and hung out with Jermaine . He introduced me to his little friend, I mean he was cute but you could clearly tell who was the female in this relationship . It was an okay night, Damien had to leave to head to his night job . Then there were two .

"Did two ever get the chance to - ."

"No, we didn't ." He cut me off from that awkward question

"Are you thinking about it ?"

"We only been talking for six months ."

"You said your in love with him ?"

"He makes me feel comfortable being Bi ."

"How did he know you were gay ?"

"If you not going to respect it then don't ask about it ."

"What ? I'm just asking a question ."

"You know I said I was Bi ."

"Okay damn, I'm sorry ."

"Let's not talk about it anymore ." he said cleaning the dishes

"I said I was sorry Jermaine ."

"How you been ?"

"Honestly ? Confused about a lot of shit, like I feel uncomfortable in every decision I make . I'm better being home but I don't want to be there forever . It's a lot of things that's like still in my way, I want to get away from everything . That's why I was thinking after my year is up I'm transferring and getting my own place ."

"Caira, that's in a couple months ."

"I know, I can't stand the condition I'm in . I want to be away from everything that's bringing me down ."

"I mean I understand that but where you going to go ?"

"I don't know yet, Florida, New York, New Jersey ."

"Damn all the way over there, you leaving your man ?"

"What man ?" I checked him sideways

"Me ?"

I laughed "You got a man ."

"How am I going to function without my right hand ?"

"You got his right hand ."

"You think you funny ?" He said as I laughed

"I do actually ." I smiled sitting on the counter top

"Can I visit ?"

"Is that even a question ? When you finally leave your momma house I'd even consider letting you live with me . I want to be fully on my own though first you know ?"

He leaned next to me as I sat on the counter "You know if you ever need anything you can call me, if you need help I don't mind . You know I got you ."

"I'm sorry for that little shit we went through, I wasn't intending on you two losing your friendship ."

"Don't worry about that clown ."

"I shouldn't have did things like that, I was just -."

"Caira, we squashed that already were good you know this ."

"I guess we should spend as much time as we can before I take that move across the country ." I suggested

"You sleeping over ?"

"No ."

"It's not like you got school tomorrow, beside you said we have to spend as much time ."

"No, cause you don't know how to keep your hands to yourself ."

"I'm in a relationship, I'm not thinking about you ."

I laughed "Well damn, I didn't know my prayers been answered . I'm still not staying ."

"You going to make me beg though ?" He placed himself between my legs "Please, stay the night ."

"No ."

"You just wanna hear it again . Please pretty please, stay with me ." He started singing

"Oh god, don't start that singing shit . Okay ."

He smiled "Always works ."

"Begging ass, you going to move ?"

"You going to make me ?"

"I guess we going to sit here all night then ."

"Well unless your ass turn into Superwoman in the next second I guess I ain't getting off you either ."

He picked me up and laid me on the couch with him laying on top of me .

I laughed "Jermaine I can't breathe ."

"Let me see what I can do for that ."

Seen these attempts all too many times from Jermaine, relationship my ass that ain't stop you from kissing me though . That nigga doesn't stop you from biting my neck though, that nigga ain't stopping from getting hard over me, and that nigga ain't stopping me from taking in all of it either .

"Why are we doing this ?" I breathed as he bit my neck

"I need you ."

"I can't ."

"You can ."

"Jermaine ."

"I love you ." he continued to kiss me

"Jermaine, please . I can't, I don't want to cross that line ."

"I want you, I want you so fucking bad that I know I'll never be able to get over you . You the only girl I ever had this problem with, I can't be happy unless I have you . I'll always try to get you, no matter what . On everything, I will never stop . I know it's selfish, but whoever you with even if you happy I'll always try to be with you . So save me the time ."

"You don't understand and you will never understand how hard this shit is, I'm so fucking confused it's driving me crazy . I don't want to make any mistakes, I made too many already Jermaine . I can't take this shit anymore, I run away and everybody still follows me ."

"Stop running ."