Pharaoh's Eye

Pharaoh's Eye ♋ XXXI

Caira

I'm done I sincerely don't give a fuck anymore what happens, I'm trying to keep thing leveled with everybody but Julius made me feel like none of my efforts was worth it . The way he spoke to me last night made me feel like I truthfully did something wrong, if the shoe was on the other foot I would have no fucking choice to turn a blind eye to what he was doing if he had a female friend who couldn't get off of him . I wouldn't know shit about her trying to seduce him every time she saw him, I wouldn't know about it till temptation got the best of him and he was forced to tell me . I wouldn't be hearing shit about me then now would I ? How do I know what the fuck he's doing while I'm school or working ? Do I question him ? No, cause either like I expect he's doing what he's suppose to out there just like I am or he has a good way of hiding his shit . I'm been completely honest with him, if his ass wanna run through my phone go head I don't have shit to hide . Least for myself I bring everything out in the open, if it's not out there for him to see and he ask me I freely tell him . What about those bitches that kept calling the house, I don't know what he really told them behind my back . 

When the situation came up, he's said to them he was seeing someone right now . Clearly they thought he meant he was with company right now, whatever the situation was how do I know his ass still ain't talking to them ? Females always fall for the okey doke, he could have they asses in line right now . But I don't say nothing about it or bring it to my concern, cause I trust him . For him to say that he didn't know where I'm at in this relationship hurt . I given a lot to his ass, I do shit for him that I'm uncomfortable with, and not once have I complained when he wants to go out to parties all I want to do is stay home . Sorry my body was too sore to go eat at your aunts house, it was my first day back to college give me a fucking break ! I give Julius whatever he needs, even tried to get him close to Gerald . I been right fucking here from the start, there is no where else I wanted to be .

"Smells good ." I said walking into the kitchen

"It ought to be, you know I don't play ." he said tossing his omelette out the skillet trying to be cute

"You won't believe the shit I heard yesterday ." I said hopping up on the counter

"Guess whose pregnant ." I said with a slight smile instantly seeing him sweat

He paused for a moment, then answered "Who ?"

"My moms ." I giggled as the color appeared in his face

"Congratulations, that's good !"

"I guess it is, she was really happy when she told me they both were . I wasn't though ."

"Why ?"

"Cause it's a stupid reason but it makes sense to me, I feel like when it's born I won't matter as much to her . I know that she'll always love me, but this baby is going to become first . As it should, but at the same time she not going to be worried about me anymore ."

He smiled "You just wanna remain the baby ."

I laughed "No, that's not it . Since my mother has been married, it's always Gerald, Gerald, Gerald . Gerald was the dictator over me, whatever he said I had to follow . I didn't have a voice because he always ruled over me, when I tried to have my way she would never listen . She's apologized to me about that, we had a heart to heart and everything but nothing has changed . I'm closer with my step-dad now than I am her, I have to talk to him about us, cause I can't talk to her . She put him before me and admitted it, she told me things would get better between us but they haven't at all . This baby takes that from me, only bright side about this is she can correct what she did wrong with me . I hope this baby at least gets the love and attention that I didn't, I lost my mother to him now I got him and still lost her ."