One Piece Reader Inserts

Doflafucko (Doflamingo x Reader)

The one in which I hate Moira, so you replace him as a Warlord. Enjoy the pure crack

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         "Bring it, Dofla-fucko" you spit, glaring at the ten-foot-tall walking fashion disaster. Your fellow Warlord frowns, and you can see the veins in his forehead. Well, you may be fucked... Not that you'd ever admit it out loud. As the fake blonde bean stalk stands (knocking his chair over in the process), an arm is put out in between the two of you.

         "Must you two always argue every time you see each other?" You glance at the other Warlord, Personification-Of-Dangerous-And-Sexy, Dracule Mihawk.

         "He\She started it," you and Doflamingo say in unison, which causes the two of you to glare at each other once more. Mihawk pinches the bridge of his nose and takes his usual seat while the others in the room continue to watch your usual squabble with the jackass.

         "You know, it's sad how you dress to impress men, (L\N). Guess it's hard getting attention once you're in your fifties, huh?"

         "Screw you, I'm 26," you growl, nails digging into the wood of the table. "You wanna talk pathetic? What's pathetic is the fact you still have that stupid god damn figure head. What are you, eight?" By now the man is seething, and you can practically taste the satisfaction of knowing you're behind his rage.

         "It is a fine figure head," he says quietly, in a poor attempt to hide how pissed he is. "At least you can tell what mine is."

         "Come over here and say that again"

         "What was that? I couldn't hear you from down there." Red fills your vision, and now Crocodile and Mihawk are slowly moving backwards away from the table.

         "I'll kick your ass you feathery fuck!"

         "Bring it you shitty dwarf!"

         "I'm going to strangle you!"

         "Can you even reach my neck?"

         "I'll take a bat to your god damn dick if I must, Don Quixote!"

         "I'd rather you use something else!"

         "Name it!" By now the other Warlords leave, knowing that it's gotten to THAT point in the argument.

         "Put your pretty mouth to work, (L\N)!"

         "Fucking drop your pants!" And with that the freakishly tall diva drags you away and out of HQ.