Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @Beccaisasnowman, Author of "Run baby, Run!"

I've slut shamed before and it's not something I'm proud of. The thing is it comes naturally, but now I try to contain myself knowing how people can feel.

In 6th and 7th grade I was immensely scared of having a boyfriend, because it meant kissing them and going even further. I turned down a total of 4 boys (for me it's a lot) last year.

When I was 13 someone asked me out. We kissed rarely, and everyone told us to French kiss. I was nervous. We broke up after a week but we are still good friends.

My first French kiss was with my current boyfriend (we will be celebrating 8 months soon) and we've done much more. Some things could be considered "slut"-like. Now I'm 14 and I'm living in fear I will be called a slut for this, if anyone finds out.

I talk with my friends and they diss anyone who has been to 'sloppy second base' or 'third base'. I keep quiet, because I have done something of the sort and I'm scared I'll end up bullied.

I'm already considered strange and weird for telling everyone I masturbate. I talk about it with my boyfriend and he told me why people think it's weird: 1) because boys think you're easy and try to shag you because you enjoy sticking fingers in yourself, and 2) it's not innocent to do it. In fact we were talking about who masturbates in our class and he kept saying "No, she's too innocent". I know that most of these girls have, but they're too scared to tell anyone in case they get raped or bullied. This shouldn't exist. At all.

A big problem is also boobs. I have none, and have given up on hoping I'll get any. I got a growth spurt when I was 10, then they've stayed like that ever since. My ex-friend had quite big breasts and boasted about these, making me feel bad about mine. Most boys even told me that I have the "body of a 10 year old boy". This ex-friend of mine stuffs her bra, as I've seen her breasts with no bra, and then with a bra. There's a big change. And I felt hurt that she'd lie and make me hate myself for no reason. When my friends drooled over her breasts I told them how she stuffed her bra. Not to be mean, but to avoid them getting disappointed and to avoid them bullying her about it. No one believes me because I'm "jealous".

I'm still waiting for the day I can be confident about my sexual life, about my body and about my sexual habits without being bullied or being scared of being bullied. We have to change things. No one listens to me. No one would ever listen to one 14 year old girl. They'd only laugh. But please, help us all change this. Please.

Rebecca Bowen is 14 years old and lives in a small town in the south of Italy.