Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @zoedinovi, Author of "Apartment, Eh?"

After 9th grade, my family moved from Los Angeles, California to Winston-Salem, North Carolina because my dad changed jobs. It was a pretty awkward age to undergo a big life change and I felt like I'd never fit in. And culture shock didn't help. I didn't have a cute Southern accent, I felt like every girl was petite, blonde and decked out in Abercrombie & Fitch. I'd arrived wearing white men's Hanes tank tops and bright pink bras and was never known for being quiet or demure.

But even standing out didn't help me make friends. It only made me feel more alone. One very sweet girl befriended me and she had a "cool" upperclassman boyfriend and they used to come hang out in my family's garage, where we'd put a couch and decorated the walls and put an old stereo.

One night my friend's boyfriend invited over a bunch of his friends and suddenly, there was a huge house party that was getting out of control, spilling into the street. I was too scared to ask everyone to go home and I didn't want to be considered a prude.

Late that night a few of the popular guys were still hanging around and somehow one of them kissed me. It's a bit of a blur now but I went to school the next Monday morning only to find out that his VERY popular girlfriend, who he had never mentioned, had found out and was furious.

All day long I got the dirty stares and whispered comments in the hall, even though he'd kissed me and never even hinted that he had a girlfriend. I must have blocked out how it all got resolved it was so traumatic. I think I walked on eggshells for weeks, fearing I'd ruined any chance at friends, ended up apologizing anyways to the girlfriend.

I'm pretty sure they broke up not too long after that. But that feeling of being shamed, of being angry that the girl always gets the blame, of being scared of the power of teenage girls, that changes your outlook and stays with you for a lifetime.

Sometimes I think it's easier today - there's more sex positivity, more encouragement for girls to own their sexuality, to side together and be supportive of each other. But I know it's still happening all time time, and our extended online lives may not be making it easier. It's projects like Your Unslut Project that get us closer to living in the kind of world I want to live in.

Zoe Di Novi just moved to Toronto from the US where she'd been doing arts and culture blogging at The Dish (with Andrew Sullivan), The Atlantic Monthly and the PBS NewsHour. Now she's helping out at Wattpad as Content Specialist, creating fun reading lists! In general, she's into books and reading and movies and food and fashion.