Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @ramo_howin

My boyfriend and I started going out a year ago last May, when we were nearly sixteen (July). We started talking about having sex about five months later, and we finally did at Christmas, with a condom. It didn't hurt, but I didn't really feel anything, either. During the next few months we often did it, though I never enjoyed it, as I really couldn't feel anything. He'd occasionally slip it in without a condom, just like a five seconds in-and-out. I didn't like him doing it but I trusted him not to come.

Around March, I had a dodgy period. It was late, then it came bit by bit, and it really looked like a symptom of a pregnancy. I even looked up symptoms on Google and got really freaked out when I had loads of them, except morning sickness.

He never thought I was pregnant and never really had any sympathy for my worries. Then his mother read some of the Facebook messages between us talking about it, and she got involved. She was really worried, as she was born because of a broken condom. The day before we were going to buy a pregnancy test, my period finally came. It was really heavy and I'd really like to know why whatever happened, happened.

I didn't really want to continue having sex. I said that to my boyfriend but he wouldn't accept that. He just said to trust him, that condoms work as long as they don't break, and it's fine to do it a bit without protection as long as he doesn't come. When I said condoms have a 98% safety when used properly and not breaking, he ignored me: "Stop believing everything you read online, we use them carefully."

A few normal months continued, and we come to today. We've had a few (understatement!) arguments over university, as I want to go to uni in England (my home country), and he doesn't speak English and wants me to study with him in Spain (where we are now, and education levels are pretty shit). He won't accept my wish to study in England. Right now I'm three days late on my period and really trying not to freak out.

What my message is, is this.

Girls. Please don't be pressured into sex. If you don't want to, or if you're having a sexual relationship and you don't enjoy it, stop. STOP. If your boyfriend insists, carry on saying NO. Don't give in. Sex really isn't worth this worry every time you should be having a visit from Aunt Flow. And if you don't want the drug cocktail that is the pill, don't take it, okay?

He's telling you to trust him? Think this: Is he suddenly the god of fertility? Can he control that condoms or whatever contraceptives are going to work all the time? No. We've all had those talks about how no contraceptives are 100% safe.

Just don't let anyone, especially not your boyfriend, control you, play the trust card, or tell you what to do. It's your choice whether you have sex or not.