Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @BrennaMcCardle

I grew up with a very strict dad. My mom died when I was not even two years old, so I never had a mom figure. My dad tried to be a dad and mom but he never could fill that spot. Regardless, I always had good morals. I went to church ever since third grade. This story isn't really where I went far because of "slut" shaming, but I was talked about by others in that way, so maybe this will help someone else out there.

I have always been picky about what guys I like. Since elementary school I've liked a total of four guys. I didn't get my first boyfriend and kiss until I was in high school. My dad was strict and very paranoid about this stuff. He, my two half brothers, and my oldest nephew all had kids barely out of high school so naturally, he assumed the apple didn't fall very far from the tree. So he had this "no dating until I get a doctorate degree or whatever" rule. Naturally, as a teen, I didn't listen.

I grew up with him yelling at me, sometimes hitting me, if I got so mad I'd throw stuff, hit the wall, whatever. He'd hit me and pull my hair. He was so paranoid about losing me, he wanted to control every aspect of me. Still does sometimes, but I put my foot down since I'm 19 now. When I started high school, he advised me to not even make friends. For those who know me, they know it's impossible for me to not have friends. I take after my mom, so I'm bubbly, energetic, confident, and very friendly. However, since I grew up a tomboy, my friendly personality has come across as flirting when it isn't.

I got my first boyfriend in my junior year. I was still sixteen because my birthday is at the end of July. Noah was a freshman, but he was barely a year younger than me because of my late birthday. After the two of us got close, I told him I liked him at Christmas that year. He asked me out then but I said no because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, which was true. However a couple months later, the day after Valentines Day, he asked me out again. This time I said yes. But we did it in secret because of my dad. I knew I wouldn't sleep with a guy unless I got married because that is my belief.

Throughout our nine and a half month relationship, we were off and on. He would say he was bisexual, then straight, and possibly he also cheated on me. Still not sure on that last part. Because I truly did love him, I always forgave him. I wanted him to love me. After another drama with him and another girl, he and I were once again friends. We were both in band together so he and I would sit on the bus together, regardless. Most of my friends were not in band and at that time he was a new kid still from a town three hours away. I was the first to be his friend because our marching spots were side by side.

However around my senior year I started hearing rumors. One girl, Latonia, asked me if Noah and I broke up because we had sex and I got pregnant. I said no, we broke up because we just had to. When she asked why I said that's between me and him. Those whom I was friends with in band knew the reason. I didn't have to tell her because she was a drama queen and a blabber mouth. This rumor went on and escalated. Later I heard a bunch of brass freshman girls saying he and I had sex during our band competition on the bus. I was a slut who snuck off to do it everywhere.

One day going to an out of town concert competition, I sat next to him. A mom of one of the previously mentioned brass girls said I couldn't sit with him. I asked why, because the rule then was that as long as it was light out, boys and girls could sit with each other on the bus. She gave me the look as if to say because you're a slut. She said, "I heard about you two. I'm watching you." And she went to the end of bus where her daughter was.

Needless to say, regardless of my actual behavior, I was thought of as a slut by everyone in my grade. So when all these people spread stuff, it dropped my self esteem more when I was still helping my own broken heart. I struggle with depression even to this day. Through it all, I still kept my head high because I knew those who truly knew me stood up for me and knew those rumors were false. They knew ME.

I know this isn't much, but this is my story. Maybe it would help someone reading this. If so, let me say even if your story might be worse than mine though I know my story is not much, all girls who go through this CAN get over the fact and rumors. Maybe not today or tomorrow or a year from now, but the sun will always rise again to a brighter day for you.