Vampire blood (Bloody dreams) - rewriting, on hold at the moment

Vampire blood XLVII

CHAPTER XLVII

ALEXIA'S POV

Michael was still holding me in his arms, his closeness forcing me to remember all the time we spent together. I used to be so desperate to keep him safe, because I always acknowledged what he did in order to protect me. I knew that he didn't care about me back then, but he did it to respect his father's last wish and I appreciated his love and devotion towards him.

Thinking about the past, I have to admit that it was a time when I felt attracted by Michael, but, after a while, and especially after I finally met Alexander I began to understand that my feelings for Michael were not enough in order to make me take the decision to be with him for the rest of my life.

At the beginning, Alexander was the man I hated and feared the most, because he used to torment me the entire time, showing me the way he was killing innocent girls, haunting me to the point of making me want to kill myself. He was the vampire who was forcing me to live into a hateful and sinful world totally unknown and cold towards me.

In the night when I finally met him on the roof of Paul's clinic I seemed to lose myself in the deepness of his black eyes, my body was frozen and my soul was trapped by an unknown and scary spell. I knew that I will never be able to run away from him, but I refused to accept something like that when all I could fell for him was hate.

But, like everybody knows, from hate to love is only one step and that's exactly what happened in my case too, even if I didn't want to accept the truth. In that night when I got in his room and found him in bed with a human girl something changed because, even if my mind was telling me to hate him even more because I had a lot of reasons to do so, my heart began to tell me something different. It was a strange feeling of devotion and attraction. Even if he was who he was I wanted him, I needed him to hold me in his arms, to make me feel protected.

I was beginning to love him and I didn't know how I could do something like that. I hated myself for actually allowing me to fall in love with him after I saw all he was capable of, but it was beyond my powers to control what I was feeling. It was a strong bond which was slowly developing inside my soul, threatening to painfully destroy me from inside.

So, I decided to kill myself from starvation and I tried as long as possible to stay away from him, trapped inside my own room. During that period of almost three days, his behaviour made me change my mind and accept that I didn't knew him at all. At the beginning I thought that he would never respect my wish of being alone and that he would come after me in order to torment me some more, but he didn't. He respected my desire and he never tried to force me into talking with him after our conversation late that night.

That made me think more about the fact that maybe, just maybe, he had a good side after all. The longer I stayed away from him the longer I was suffering, because each second was painful in his absence.

I tried so hard to take him out of my heart, but I couldn't do it, despite my entire efforts. It was like someone had tattooed a powerful feeling inside my heart, making it impossible for me to stop thinking about him. I knew he was a vampire, and even worse, a pureblood, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting him to the point I felt like I was going to die.

My feelings became even more powerful after he tried to protect me in front of the Council, desperately fighting against his kind for someone like me: a mere human girl. All these facts indeed made me change my mind about him, as soon as I understood that there was no escape from his powerful spell even if I was trying to escape. My only chance was to try at least to hide my real feelings even if I could never tear them out of my heart.  

Slowly, my mind was covered in darkness because of the strong emotions I was feeling and despite the fact that Michael was the best choice for someone like me my heart chose Alexander, a pure interpretation of evil.