thin ice // mitch marner

CHAPTER 42

I couldn't fall asleep. It should've been easy today, what with being jet lagged and being in a bed beside Mitch, but everything was different. He wasn't even holding me tonight.

When dinner had ended, I told my mom I'd happily wash all the dishes myself, since I really wasn't in the mood to be around any of the guests. She countered that it wasn't often I came home, and she was sure that everybody wanted to catch up. But she obviously knew something was up with us, given Mitch, Auston, and my obviously bummed out moods during dinner. 

Everybody gathered in the living room to catch up, and with me washing the dishes and Auston heading home early after feeling "sick", it was a bit easier. Mitch walked into the kitchen to help me out. 

"I don't want us to be mad at each other." He said quietly, standing behind me.

I turned off the tap, drying off my hands on the towel and sighing. I slowly turned around, not knowing what to say. "I've ruined my friendship with him, Mitch. I know it." 

"He'll come around." Mitch assured me. 

"I don't think so." I countered. 

He stepped closer. "You have me. Isn't that enough?" Somehow this comment annoyed me. I turned back around and turned the water on again, taking another plate to wash.

"Natalie." Mitch said, stepping forward and reaching over to turn the water off from behind me. "What I mean," he began, pulling me back around gently. "Is that anybody who treats you like this, makes you feel like this... he doesn't deserve to be your friend." He says, putting his hands on my shoulders. 

"Why couldn't I have kept both of you? Why is he being like this?" I whisper. 

"He's being selfish, Nat. Don't you see that?" His voice drops too. I did see it, honestly. 

"Why does he act like he's in a competition with you?" I say, shaking my head. 

"I told you. He's being selfish." He repeats.

"We've always been just friends." I say again. 

"I don't know what to tell you." Mitch says, taking his arms away and backing up. "Don't let it bother you." He says, kissing my cheek briefly and walking out.

Mitch always knew the right thing to say, but he didn't today. He didn't say the right thing. He didn't make me feel better, in fact his attitude and look on things was making me feel worse. Didn't he see how hurt I was, losing a friend in all this stupid shit? Yet his response was to 'not let it bother me'. 

I didn't talk to him for the rest of the night after our kitchen conversation. He must've known something was up, or maybe he just wanted to give me space, but I definitely found it weird when he came to bed after me and didn't say anything. It felt stupid to think about, but he always put his arms around me. Tonight he didn't. 

I glanced at my phone to see the numbers 02:49 flashing back at me. I got up out of bed and brought my phone with me to the washroom. I hadn't gotten any sleep, and I don't think things would've gotten any better the longer I stayed laying there, thousands of thoughts swarming about my head. 

I clicked on Auston's phone number and waited, selfishly hoping he was still awake, too. Even then, why would he answer his phone? Wasn't he still mad at me? 

I was still thinking these as the ringing finally stopped and his voice spoke. "Are you okay?" He said. He didn't sound like he'd been sleeping. 

"Yeah." I nodded, even though he couldn't hear me. "I couldn't sleep, and I was wondering if you wanted to talk."