Jade: Oh, I thought you were because most accidents happen there.
~~~
Jesy: This is the last straw!
Perrie: Here's more.
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Jesy: That's it, I'm divorcing you.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: *Puts hand on Jade's shoulder* I want you to know that someone cares about you.
Jade: Aww, Leigh-
Leigh-Anne: No, I don't care about you, but someone does.
~~
Jesy: God, I'm so proud of myself.
Jade: That's wonderful, Jesy. What did you do?
Jesy: The Minions puzzle Jake gave me for Christmas said "5 - 8 years", but I finished it in two weeks.
~~~
Perrie: People who say that "nothing is impossible" are liars.
Leigh-Anne: How so?
Perrie: Because I've been doing nothing for years.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: Expect the unexpected.
Jade: *Punches Leigh-Anne in the throat*
Jade: I bet you didn't expect that.
~~~
Jesy: That man over there is so sweet. He looks at his wife like she's an angel from up above, holds her hand, kisses her forehead, tells her how beautiful he thinks she is...why can't you do the same, Leigh?
Leigh-Anne: Uhm, I don't even know the woman, Jesy.
Jesy: I married an idiot.
~~~
Perrie: Breathe if you love me.
Jade: *Holds her breath*
Jesy: I'm not in love with Jade but this even hurts me.
~~~
Jade: Are you hungry, babe?
Leigh-Anne: No, I just ate.
Jade: What did you eat?
Leigh-Anne: Jesy.
~~~
Jesy: Jane, am I a bad wife?
Jade: My name is Jade...
~~~
Leigh-Anne: Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That's six months in a row now.
Perrie: Bitch, I've forgotten to go to the gym everyday for the last four years.
~~~
Perrie: Smile and the world smiles with you.
Jade: Fart and the world suddenly stops smiling.
~~~
Jesy: Ugh, my car broke down in the middle of freaking nowhere and then Jake called off the engagement. Things just can't get any worse!
Leigh-Anne: Of course they can!
Jesy: You're not helping.
~~~
Jesy: Most people treat me like God.
Leigh-Anne: Please, explain.
Jesy: They forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: I made biscuits for you. It's an apology for burning your house down.
Jesy: YOU DID WHAT?!
Leigh-Anne: Biscuits. I made biscuits.
~~~
Jade: Money can't buy happiness but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini than in a 2003 Volvo.
Perrie: You don't even have a driver's license.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: It's been raining for days now and it has affected Jesy in such a negative way. She's so sad. She keeps standing by the window, staring. If the rain continues and she keeps staring like that, I'll have to let her in.
Jade: Did you lock her out of the house?!
Leigh-Anne: That's what happens when you eat your wife's nachos.
~~~
Perrie: Baby, I'm so sorry for taking out my anger and frustration on you. You didn't deserve that.
Jesy: It's okay.
Perrie: Really?
Jesy: Yes, I cleaned the toilet with your toothbrush after you left so everything's just fine.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: I can't live without love.
Jade: And I can't live without oxygen.
~~~
Perrie: *In National Geographic narrator voice* even though Jesy may seem cuddly, loving and sweet, one must never forget that she's still a dangerous predator.
~~~
Perrie: *Is sick*
Perrie: *Googles her symptoms*
Perrie: Oh my God, I'm going to die.
_____________________________________________ So The Summer Hits Tour starts tonight and I hope that everyone who's lucky enough to attend have a good time! ❤️
