15. The truth about muggles

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I'm back in Snape's office. He's drumming his fingers on his desk, and I sit awkwardly at a table. The last exams have just finished and it's a Friday, so I'm in here,

"So do you have a middle name?" I ask.

"Yes." He grunts.

"Tobias?"

"Yes. My father's name. He was horrible to us."

"I know." I say quietly. "You can smile around me. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere. I know everything already, and you are by far the bravest person I've ever met. I know the Severus Snape that defended Lily all those years ago is in there, the one who was happy."

"That Severus is gone."

"I'll bring him back, I promise you."

"There's nothing you can do."

I hesitate. "I'll do it anyway. I have to. If you're going to live, it might as well be enjoyable. Please... Severus."

"I don't know what to do. And don't you dare suggest moving on."

"I know you inside out, I'll never ever tell you to move on."

"It's just hard."

"I never said it would be easy. Have you ever visited her grave? Her spirit could be there."

"I don't believe in spirits."

"You should. Harry tries to bring hers back just before he dies."

"Harry Potter will die?"

"He'll come back to life, don't worry."

"How?"

"I have no idea. Maybe you should get Dumbledore to explain it. He was the one who told Harry. So anyway I guess she'll be hanging around her grave, her house, or Harry. Let's try the places first."

"You are going to make me come, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"Let's go, then. We'll floo to Hogsmeade and I'll apparate us to Godric's Hollow. I know better than to argue with you."

"We don't have to if you don't want to."

"Let's go, I'm actually curious."

"Wait, just let me get something."

"I'll come."

I run over to the Herbology room with Snape gliding behind me. When we get there he stands at the door while I talk to Professor Sprout, who is tending to some mandrakes. I whisper something and she hands me what I'm looking for, and I thank her. I then join Snape and we floo to Hogsmeade.

"What did you borrow from Pomona?"

"You'll find out soon." I take his arm and we appear in front of the house where it all began. He looks devastated. I pat his shoulder. He closes his eyes.

"You really don't have to do this." I whisper.

"We're here now, and I actually want to do this."

"Okay."

We head inside. He inhales sharply, as if in deep pain, which I guess he is. I look over at him uncertainly. He hesitates, then moves forward.

I slowly follow him. We head up the stairs and I wonder what Hazel's doing.

"I wish she hadn't died. When I saw her I... I wanted to be the dead one."

"Severus..."

"You used my first name."

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