He Falls For Me (Revised)

Epilogue

Sorry kung matagal. Hindi ko talaga mailapat ng maayos ang mga salita. Anyway, thank you for making it this far! Sorry din po kung matagal yung revisions. It takes time. Hahaha. Thank you one million times! Muah.

May kwento na rin po pala si Olivia. Check niyo nalang po sa aking profile. The Outside ang title. See you there!
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Napangiti ako nang maalala ang mga nangyari sa aming dalawa noon. Kung paano kami nagkakilala, kung paano kami nagkaasaran at nakaawayan, kung paano namin itinago ang nararamdaman para sa isa't-isa, kung paano kami naging masaya sa saglit na panahong ibinigay at kung paano kami nagkasiraan. All those things happened in a snap, in time when you did not ask for it. It started unexpectedly as well as it ended. It hurt, of course. Who was I to deny that fact? I almost broke myself when I found out that she left me. Iniwanan niya ako. Nagawa niya iyon kahit binigyan ko lang siya ng pagkakataong palamigin ang sitwasyon. So we could talk about it.

Noong araw na may nagsend sa akin ng isang email, kung saan nandoon ang mga litrato ni Liam at Jucylle sa magkasama, I saw complete black. It wasn't just a picture of them. Magkayakap sila doon at parang tuwang-tuwa pa si Jucylle sa nangyari na para bang ayaw niyang bumitaw. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko nga bang paniwalaan iyon. I should trust Jucylle. That's what I had been thinking of since we became official. But damn, how the hell could I trust her when I knew that I was the one who was playing with her all along. I was such a big jerk. What could I do, anyway? Gusto ko siya. At dapat sa akin lang siya. I knew we started in a wrong way but I could still make things straight, right? Pero hindi ko maalis sa sarili ko ang pagkainis sa mga pangyayari. At noong magkita pa kami ni Jucylle noong araw na iyon ay parang wala lang sa kanya. Nakita ko ang ngiting-ngiti niyang mukha at di maalis sa isip ko na baka iyon ang dahilan ng pagkakayakap niya kay Liam. Damn shit. I got angry with her because she never hugged me that tight before. The other reason was because I could not accept the fact that I would break the precious smiles she's giving me once she found out the truth.

Our relationship became blurry. She was reaching out to me. Trying to explain how things had happened but I kept still. Hindi ko siya kinausap dahil ang totoo ay dapat ako ang gumagawa ng mga ganung bagay sa kanya. I was so damn guilty for lying to her. She would know sooner that in between our relationship was a bet made by her closest friend. Masasaktan ko siya. Alam ko ang katotohanang iyon pero ipinagpatuloy ko pa rin. I was so selfish. Sarili ko lang ang naiisip ko.

"You need to tell her that she was just a freaking deal, Arkin. If you don't, I'll tell her."

That was my cue. Sinabihan ako ni Bianca na mas maganda kung sa akin malalaman ni Jucylle ang totoo. Kaya nagpasya ako na kausapin siya kinabukasan. Pero mapaglaro nga naman ang tadhana. The day she went in my unit and ended everything between us was the very same day I was supposed to tell her the truth. She was furious, I could see rage in her eyes but above all, I could see the pain I inflicted on her.

"It is what I think it is. I hate you, Arkin. I break up with you."

When I saw how she turned her back on me, I felt doomed. I did not know how painful it could be for me. I did not think I would be hurting this much. Just her back in front of me was enough to break me, and so did I.

Nagpalipas ako ng mga araw para palamigin at sitwasyon. Gusto kong maipaliwanag sa kanya ng maayos ang lahat. Noong una ay hindi niya ako pinakinggan dahil galit ang nangingibabaw sa kanya, kaya nagbaka-sakali ako na ngayon ay magawa na niya. Maaga akong nagpunta sa bahay nila, pero na-surpresa ako dahil iba ang nagbukas ng gate nila.

"Wala na pong Enriquez na nakatira dito, sir. Umalis na po sila noong isang araw pa."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko noong araw na iyon. Umalis sila. Umalis siya ng hindi man lang nililinaw ang pagitan naming dalawa. O baka naman ako lang ang umaasang maayos ang lahat? That was so stupid of me! Hindi na sana ako nagpalipas ng panahon. Kinausap ko na sana siya kahit na sarado ang isip niya. Gaya ng ginawa niya noong sarado din ang isip ko sa mga paliwanag niya. Sobrang nagagalit ako sa ginawa niyang pang-iiwan.