He Falls For Me (Revised)

Seventy-ninth Chapter

Former Author's not KUNO. XD

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The visions of yesterday were blurry when I tried remembering it. The pains, the wounds and the scars were enough for me to leave this place again. I left the country five years ago because of so much pain they had given me, and now, I was leaving because of the same reason. The only difference was, the pain was worse than before. I was almost healed before coming back. I almost found the lost pieces of my myself before they forced me to get back. But now, I lost it again. I lost everything in myself this time.

The day I woke up from unconsciouness, I felt very empty. Pakiramdam ko ay ninakawan ako ng pinaka-mahalagang bagay sa buhay ko. The dreams that I made with my future child vanished in just a blink of an eye. Sobrang sakit. Ni hindi ko man lang nagawang maramdaman ang buhay na mayroon sa loob ko. Kinuha kaagad siya. Nawala siya dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ni Olivia kay Arkin. Sinubukan kong unawain ang lahat kahit na hindi tinatanggap ng sistema ko ang sinasabi ng utak ko. Nagmamahal lang naman si Olivia at hindi naman niya alam na nagdadalang-tao ako. Iyon ang isang bagay na kahit paulit-ulitin ko sa utak ko ay di pa rin magawang tanggapin ng puso ko. I just lost my baby. Ang natatanging isang alaala na dapat mayroon ako kay Arkin.

Maybe this was what I wanted before. Ang kalayaan sa lahat ng responsibilidad. Nahirapan akong tanggapin ang katotohanan sa likod ng pagbubuntis ko kaya siguro kinuha nalang ang bata sa akin. I was never a good person. The baby didn't need a mother who could not accept him in the first place. Maybe that's the reason why I lost it. I was never good ay handling everything but I always tried the best that I could. Only, it was never enough.

Sa oras na ito, doon ko masasabing "I had enough". Enough bullshits in life. Iniisip ko nalang na siguro pagkatapos nito, sasaya na ako. I would find the happiness that was truly for me. Iyong hindi pinipilit at kusang darating. I forgave people kahit na sobrang sakit. This was just a pace. Lahat ay dumadaan sa ganito, hindi nga lang sa prosesong katulad ng sa akin at hindi rin sa panahong nagluluksa ako. It was a part of life. Bata pa ako pero pakiramdam ko ay sobrang tanda ko na sa sobrang sakit na dinanas ko sa mundong ibabaw. The only escape was to just sleep.

"Macy, sigurado ka na ba sa desisyon mo?" Tanong ni Bianca habang inaayos ko ang mga gamit ko. Nakatayo siya sa aking doorway at nakahalukipkip. She was teary-eyed and I couldn't explain how she was feeling.

"Bianca, I've never been this sure with my decision." Sagot ko at ipinasok ang mga damit ko sa aking maleta. Narinig ko ang papalapit niyang mga yapak at naupo siya sa gilid ng aking kama.

"Hindi na ba talaga kita mapipigilan? Hindi na ba kakayanin ng powers ko ang pag-alis mo?" I heard her voice break. Tinignan ko siya at nakita ko ang pagpupunas niya ng luha. I sat next to her.

"Some things are never meant to stay, Bianca. Parang ako, hindi ako nababagay sa lugar na ito. I could only cause pains to people. Ayokong mangyari iyon ulit. The happiness I've been looking for couldn't be found here, Bianca." Inirapan niya ako dahil sa isinagot ko.

"Kakaayos lang natin tapos aalis ka na kaagad? Iiwanan mo na naman ako?" Umiling ako at nginitian siya. Bianca would always be the best friend for me.

"What are the social media for, Bianca? Pwede naman tayong mag-facetime palagi para hindi mo ako ma-miss." Pagbibiro ko. Suminghot lang siya bago ako niyakap nang mahigpit.