He Falls For Me (Revised)

Seventy-fourth Chapter

Jucylle's Point of View

Pakiramdam ko sandaling tumigil ang oras ko. Tama ba ang narinig kong sinabi ni Ran?

"Ran.." Hindi niya ako pinakinggan. Hinila niya ako papasok ng elevator at doon ko hinayaang humagulhol ang sarili ko.

Was I being too selfish? Mali bang isipin ko naman ang sarili ko ngayon? I could lose everything but not Ran. Just.. not him. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kung mawawala siya. I needed him. He was for me. Damn!

"You can't have the best of both worlds, Jucylle. You can't expect me to still be there when you already chose someone over me. I am not a fucking martyr." Napatingin ako kay Ran. Nakita ko ang mabibigat na paghinga niya.

"You were there when I needed you. You said you will never leave me but look at what you're doing right now." Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko para makontrol ang mga hikbing lumalabas sa bibig ko.

"That's because I was the only one you need that time, Jucylle. It's different now." Umiling ako sa sinagot niya. Ran was making me so frustrated!!

"It was never different! I still need you.." Hinawakan ko ang sleeves niyang nakatupi hanggang siko.

"You need me.. but you still love the guy who made you miserable. You chose him over the guy who had been there for you when you're in pain.. Need and love are two different words, Jucylle." Bumukas ang elevator at nakita kong nasa lobby na kami. Nauna siyang lumabas sa akin at sinundan ko siya. Nagpupunas ako ng mga luha habang tinatahak ang daan papuntang parking lot.

Binuksan niya ang pinto sa driver's seat at pumasok. Hindi na nga tulad ng dati. Hindi na niya ako pinagbubuksan ng pinto. Pumasok ako mag-isa at pinaandar niya ang kotse saka umalis.

"I can't lose you, Ran. I don't want to lose you." Salita ko sa nakabibinging katahimikan sa gitna naming dalawa. Diretso ang tingin niya sa kalsada at hindi ko talaga maiwasang hindi ma-frustrate. He's acting differently.

"You just did." Sagot niya.

"I thought you are different from him! I thought you would never hurt me.." Sinubukan kong abutin ang kamay niya pero inilayo niya ito. Damn, Ran!

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Kung kailan magiging maayos na ang lahat saka pa nagkaganito si Ran. Saka niya pa naisipang saktan ako. Hindi ko talaga siya mabasa. His actions were so unpredictable. I didn't want to lose anything.. pero sa ginagawa ni Ran ay malabo ng mangyari iyon.

"You chose to hurt yourself. You chose to be selfish. You let your emotions reign over you and this is what you get.. You shouldn't blame anyone because this is your own choice." Tumango ako sa sinabi niya. Pinili ko ito pero bakit parang hindi ko kayang panindigan? I knew I still loved Arkin.. but what about Ran?

"What do I need to do to have you back?" Tanong ko. Napansin ko ang saglit niyang pagharap sa akin saka siya suminghap.