The Diary of a Bisexual Slut

Not Alone

05/24/12

Hey. Yesterday, I had a chat with Sparrow. She tried to deny she was depressed to me. She didn't seem to comprehend that I know her. Debating whether or not I should put down the convo... I mean, it was interesting, and it made me think differently about Sparrow, but I just don't know if it's important enough to put in my diary. I hate to say it, but I've taken a liking to writing in herre. It's a sort of open-ness I've never had with someone before. Alright. I guess I'll put it in here. So here's how it went:

"I know you know what I mean." I replied absently.

"I am not depressed!" She exclaimed. "I'm just fine! Nothing like having the woman you love using you to spruce up your life!" She stopped talking when I gasped. "I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."

"Sparrow, was that what this was all about? Your birthday present?" I asked.

Birthday present?! That's all you're going to call it?! She exclaimed. This was beginning to rival the loudness of Izzy and my last argument. "You made me think you still loved me!"

"I thought you knew..." I said quietly. "I was just trying to come back to myself..."

"Come back to yourself." She repeated. "Why did I waste time on you?"

"What?" This was a surprise.

"I thought, for all this time, that we still had a chance." She answered. "I kept telling myself to go ask. You and Izzy broke up and I thought that was a sign. It was my chance. And you even called me." She was crying now. She had to stop to try and get her a breath back. "But then you were with Jake. And he's changing you.. I just don't know what to do anymore." She fell into the chair behind her.

"Sparrow," I didn't know how to fix this.. "I still love you. Just not that way anymore. You're like my baby sister now. And yes. I'm changing. But it's not Jake's fault. I'm growing up. Becoming mature. I'm raising a child and my own baby will be here soon. That would change just about anyone." There. I think that worked.

"I feel so alone." She said quietly, staring at the floor.

Oh thank god, I thought. I know this one.

You're not alone." I told her fiercely. "I', here for you. And I know for damn sure Angels here for you too."

"Angel?" She asked confused.

"You haven't noticed?" I asked her stunned. I thought it was obvious. "She likes you. Hell, I think she even loves you. She would do anything for you."

"She would?" She didn't seem to believe this.

"Yes." I laughed.

"Crystal to the stage area. You're about to go on."

amn." I said absently. "I'll talk to you another time." I turned to go. "Oh!" I remembered something. "Listen close to my song tonight, it's dedicated to you."

So. That was it. I still can't believe she didn't know Angel was into her. I hope Angel won't be mad at me for telling her.... Oh well. If she is she won't hurt me that much. I have to go now. I'm supposed to be meeting Matt downtown soon. He wants to chill and says he has big news.

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So? Is this ok? You won't be mad at me for putting the convo in this chapter, will you? I know it takes up space for some dramatic twist, but there's plenty of time for that. There are only 3 chapters left after all.

Continue suggesting things! Matts got some big news.. Tell me what you think it is. Someones dying soon too.. I have it written out. But who is it? I might introduce a couple new characters soon too.

Comment, Vote, Fan ;D

Picture is the stage (just so people can see where she works)

Video is the song from her dance, Carolyn by Black Veil Brides.

Hope you enjoyed! :D

-Ashee<3