Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 44: Sunday, 1 day after initiation

Tobias

My arm and hand have gone numb from supporting my head while I lie on my side, watching Tris sleep. I couldn't find back into sleep ever since I woke up and had to use the bathroom an hour or so ago.

The moment I got back into my bedroom and saw her there, lying on her stomach with her hair all around her head and one naked leg sticking out from under the blanket, I was overwhelmed by my feelings for her. It's hard to place them all, let alone name them.

The longer I look at her, her features becoming more and more visible with the rising of the sun somewhere behind thick clouds on this gray morning, the more restless I feel. Fear creeps up inside me that's tied to the love, fear of losing her. It's a dangerous situation we're facing, and we're right in the middle of it.

Tris stirs in her sleep, and I hold my breath. I don't want to wake her. When she's calm again, I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, carefully. I allow my fingertips to linger on her neck for a moment.

Oh, what we did last night... I have to smile at the memory. I feel so much closer to her now, and I can't wait until we can do it again. And again.

I have absolutely no idea how long it takes for a girl to be ready for that, though. Maybe she's still sore. All the world talks about the first time so much, but nobody ever mentions the second. I wonder why that is. It's not that we know all about it after doing it once.

I hope I'll be less nervous the next time, so I can focus more on Tris and last a bit longer. I was relieved that she didn't expect me to be a perfect lover last night. But next time, I want to make up for it. I want to please her the way she pleased me.

Perhaps I should have tried a bit more? I could have used my fingers on her after I came, but instead I fell asleep. A bit selfish, now that I think about it. But then, she'd said it was okay like that.

Now I'm the one having difficulties believing her.

I shake my head. Where are my thoughts going? It's unlike me to doubt her. I can't expect her to believe my words when I question hers. She hasn't given me any reason to do that.

My mind calms down again, replaying last night's events. I want to ignore everything and everyone else and just hold on to that feeling tightly. I can't resist running my fingertips from Tris' neck along her spine and push the blanket down a little to reach more of her skin. Warmth radiates off her.

She slowly wakes up under my caress, and the moment she opens her sleepy eyes and sees me, a small, yet happy smile tugs at her mouth.

"Morning," she mumbles.

"Morning."

I lean over and kiss her cheek. Tris hums contently and closes her eyes again.

"Don't stop," she says, and only then do I notice my hand is resting on the small of her back.

"Not without your permission," I reassure her as I motion my hand across her back.

We spend a peaceful morning cuddling in bed, not caring about anything apart from each other, until we can't ignore our rumbling stomachs any longer.

"I'll go for a quick shower. You want to join me?" I ask, sitting up.

"Uhm, I'll start preparing breakfast. I'm starving, you know?"

From the way she's biting her lip, I can tell that's not the only reason, but I refrain from asking her further. I know the lights in my bathroom are very bright.

"Okay, but I expect a steaming cup of coffee waiting for me when I get out," I say with a wink.

"Deal."