Chapter 15: Thursday, 9 days until initiation

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Tris

I wake up with Tobias' arm wrapped around my waist and his warm body behind me. I don't dare to move because I'm afraid I might wake him up. And I don't have the urge to do so, I could just stay like this forever, listening to his consistent breathing, smooth and silent. I hope we'll spend another night sleeping next to each other. I feel so secure when he's with me, protected from all possible harm by his tender embrace.

When Tobias wakes up, he kisses my neck. "Morning," he mumbles against my skin and his voice sounds hoarse.

"Morning," I say and turn around to face him.

He looks gorgeous with his messy hair and sleepy eyes. Next, my eyes travel over his naked chest. I'm still flashed by the sight of him every time I see him shirtless. He notices my gaze and chuckles, "It's not very polite to stare at someone like this."

"I'm sorry," I mumble, immediately focusing back on his eyes, and smile at him nervously. I know he's just joking around with me, but I still feel caught doing something I shouldn't.

"I like it when you blush," he whispers and kisses my cheeks one after the other, "and I like waking up next to you. It's been a while since I've slept so calmly. I hope it's okay that I sneaked in last night."

"I wouldn't have given you the key if I hadn't wanted you to."

I get up to brew us some coffee and prepare two sandwiches while he watches me working in the kitchen. Usually I wear shorts during the night, but yesterday I chose long sweatpants, knowing that I'd eventually share my bed with Tobias. Every time I look up, his eyes are on me and we share a smile. It's definitely something new to have a man in my bed in the morning, and my heart flutters at the sight of Tobias lying there on his side, his head propped on his hand, the blanket covering him up to his bellybutton. I know he's slept in his pants, but from this point of view he could also be naked underneath the blue fabric.

I shake my head when I realize where my thoughts are going and I hear him laugh, "I'd give anything to know what crossed your mind these last seconds."

I love the sound of it. I wish we had more to laugh about, so I could hear it more often.

"I consider my thoughts to be free outside the simulations," I reply, unable to hide a grin, while I pour the coffee in two cups and carry them over to the nightstand, then go another time to fetch the sandwiches. He's clever enough to draw his own conclusions.

We both sit next to each other, our backs against the cushions, the blanket over our legs. We eat breakfast in a comfortable silence, both of us following our thoughts.

I try to come up with an idea how to tell him that Christina knows about us. Although she was the one who started the topic and suggested there was something going on between Tobias and me, guilt is nagging at me for confirming it to her. I'm sure Tobias won't like it and I'm afraid he'll get angry at me again. I wonder if there's any way of telling him without starting a fight. I don't want to ruin neither this morning nor the day. Everything is so good between us right now.

Time is running and Tobias has to leave to take a shower and change before the simulations begin. The moment to tell him about Christina is gone before I have made up my mind.

The cool water in my shower rinses off at least part of my worries before I have to go down for today's simulation, but I decide that I have to pluck up courage to talk to Tobias about it tonight if I don't want the matter to stand between us.

***

"I have to tell you something," I begin after closing Tobias' apartment door behind me after returning from dinner.

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