Chapter 29

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This chapter continues where the last one ended, so if you're uncomfortable reading about Tobias talking about his tough childhood, I suggest you skip the first part of this and start reading where the pov changes from Tris to Tobias.

I promise this chapter will end in a better mood than the last one!

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Tris

I remember what he said in the beginning: That he was afraid I could get angry at him. Why? He has spoken at least for half an hour now, with breaks of silence in between, but nothing, absolutely nothing, he said could have caused me to be angry at him.

I take both of his hands in mine and raise them to place small kisses along his knuckles. He closes his eyes at the touch of my lips, and I wait until he has composed himself. It takes a while, but I don't care that I have to wait.

"About a year ago, I found out about a big lie, a huge one that entirely changed my view on my life. I was contacted anonymously, and I was sure it was Marcus, so I went to the described meeting point early to hide there. I planned to check who wanted to see me in the middle of the night. But it wasn't Marcus who turned up. It was my mother."

"What?" I look at him with a mixture of plain shock and disbelief. "How is that possible?"

"I can tell you, that encounter was a heavy impact for me. I couldn't believe my eyes at first. It was like meeting a ghost. But it was her. I recognized her immediately. She had become older, but her features were still the same, and so was her voice. For years and years, I had wished so much for this to happen, to have her back in my life. But then I listened to her side of the story and I realized that she may have been my mother during the first years of my life, but she stopped being my mum when she turned her back at me and went away."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

I'm bewildered, to say the least. This is confusing. I've never heard of anything like this before.

Tobias snorts scornfully. "She explained it to me." Sarcasm emanates from his words. "She said she hadn't been able to live with Marcus any longer because of his cruelties, and that she hadn't seen a legal way out of their marriage. So she decided to become factionless, and to preserve Marcus' prestige within the faction they chose to fake her death. Can you imagine that? She left Abnegation behind to live a better life, and everyone helped to cover her lie. There must have been more people involved, because there was no body, no evidence of her death. And nobody — nobody — ever said a word to me about it. They let me believe that my mother was dead, and I never questioned it anymore after the funeral.

She left me with Marcus, all alone. And she knew him! She knew his personality and his violent outbursts! And despite that, she left me in his charge.

She tried to justify herself, told me she had been convinced he'd never turn on me and that she had thought I was safe with him regardless of what he did to her."

He shakes his head, clearly the memory of that conversation still vivid in his mind.

"That sounds unbelievable," I say, and I mean it.

How could she have done that? How can a loving mother leave her child behind with a tyrant? The answer that my mind throws at me is ugly and painful, and I'm sure Tobias must have come to the same conclusion.

"It is unbelievable. I think she never truly loved me, not enough to take me with her, or to care about what happened to me after her escape. She never checked on me. Never. And there would have been ways to do that, if she had wanted."

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