Chapter 14

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Tris

Christina and I have been doing small talk for a short while now, but she doesn't seem into it. There's more to her visit, I'm sure. I'm already trying to figure out what to tell her when she questions me again about this morning. I can't tell her the truth, but I can't really lie to her either.

"So Tris, if there's a problem you can tell me."

"What do you mean? What kind of problem?"

"I know there's something going on between you and Four."

Wham. Her words take me by surprise. How does she know? How did she find out? A million thoughts cross my mind, but I'm unable to grasp even one because they pass by in a blur. I must look shocked, I realize, when Christina lays her hand on mine gently.

"Please tell me about it. I'm worried about you."

"Worried?" I ask, astounded. Of all emotions she could pick, she chooses worried?

"Well, I've narrowed it down to two possibilities: Either he's pushing you to do things you don't want to by threatening to gossip about your special fear and who's the boy in it, or he's the one you have a crush on and can't speak about it."

Wow. She must have spent some time thinking about that.

"How did you get the idea that there's something going on between us?"

I need more time to get my thoughts straight, and I'm also curious.

"The sweatshirt that hung in your bathroom this morning: Four was wearing it during training this afternoon. It was the same, I saw the stains on it."

Oh, that's how she found out? I don't know how to talk myself out of this. What would Tobias want me to do? I sigh and decide to go with the truth. Christina has been trustworthy so far, and she already knows too much to believe any made-up explanation. Plus, I don't like that she wonders about Tobias blackmailing me in any way. I don't know how she jumps to that conclusion.

"Okay, I'll tell you. But you have to swear to keep it to yourself. You'd put us in danger if you told anyone."

"I promise," she says solemnly, sitting up straight, eagerly waiting for me to spill the beans.

"First of all, you're right about the sweatshirt. He gave it to me yesterday when I was cold, and I gave it back to him this morning. He's the one I told you about. The one whose name I couldn't tell you because, being instructor and initiate, we're not allowed to have a relationship. We'd both end up factionless if leadership found out about us."

"Wait, wait, let me get this straight: When you say relationship, does it mean you're actually together?"

Christina's eyes are wide and I could almost laugh about it if the situation wasn't that serious.

"Yes. We're together. We have been for a week now."

The words, spoken out loud, still sound foreign to me, yet good, satisfying.

"I can't believe it! Really? Tris! How can you be alone with him? He's so intimidating. I mean, I usually don't dare to speak much around him, and that's something."

Now I can't suppress the smile crawling over my face.

"He's not always that serious and cool. He has many different sides of his personality. I know he's not exactly known as kind, but he tries to be. At least around me. But I have to admit that I still find him intimidating sometimes, too."

"Only sometimes? How do you do that? I don't think I could manage a normal conversation with him."

"Actually, it's not the conversation part that still intimidates me," I say, feeling my cheeks go red. When will that stupid reaction stop betraying me?

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