Animalistic | h.s

chapter nine

I wrap my shoulders with my own arms as I kneel on the hard road. My body can't stop shaking and I bring my hands to grip on my hair as the tears fall. I scream and cough, noticing that I lost my voice. Harry is sitting behind me, he isn’t touching me anymore, but he continues to speak.

"You weren't meant to see that," He pauses, "I'm sorry."

He's sorry.

Sorry?

Psychopaths can't feel regret of their actions or is that he has convinced himself of such?

Harry is lying; he doesn't care about me or about anything. Sorry is such a strong word, the word looks big on him. I feel his hand rest on my shoulder and he takes it off me as I scream, but this time it’s a fainting scream.

"Flo, I need you to calm down for our sake!" He has no patience now. I can tell by how forcibly he grabs my arm and pulls me up, but he doesn’t bother to turn me around – because I can do that myself.

I slowly turn to look at him. How does he want me to calm down if I just watched a human being killed? I could ask him that but I don't even trust my voice anymore, so I stay quiet and curl my fingers.

I’m freezing myself out here.

 I can see white puff of air come out from our mouth while he tries to steady his breathing. I’m trying to breathe through my mouth since my nose is blocked. I also feel agitated but that doesn't stop me if I want to run. I avoid his stare and I turn around to walk.

"I'm going... home." My voice comes out raspy.

"You're going the wrong way." I stop walking and ball my hands in front of my chest, turning around.

The cold wind hits my face as I begin to walk past him, bumping my shoulder with his and I caught him taking a glimpse of me. I peek over my shoulder to see him turn around. He turns to follow me, but he keeps his distance.

I run past the body, making sure I didn't look at it, but my curiosity won. It’s just now that realisation hits me; Harry is as dirty as Jasper, and he is right behind me.  

I follow the signs and directions that should take me back to Sandbach, but I find it excessively hard to focus in the way as Harry’s hums. I sit down on a rotten bench, glaring at the empty road.

"Stop following me!” My voice breaks as I shout, making my authority fail.

He sits on the other side of the bench with me; the bench makes a cracking sound that lets us know it will break in any moment. His hands are on top of his thighs, rubbing up and down softly before he leans forward and intertwining his fingers together.

"Do you really want me to do that?" He tilts his face to look at me.

I stay silent for a minute.

"I can't be mates with a monster."

He flinches, "I'm not a monster."

"Yes, y-you are," I stand up, "You have killed many people as much as Jasper, right? How many have you killed? Will I be your next victim?" I grit my teeth and it won’t surprise me if he takes out a gun and kills me.

"I'm not like Jasper. I can promise you that."

"You don't need to promise anything anymore because I want you to - please... leave me alone. Get away from me.”

"You want that?" He asks me, raising his eyebrow. He doesn’t seem to be taking this serious.

"Yes." I firmly say and he stands up for my surprise, he walks away without saying a word until I can't see him anymore.