Animalistic | h.s

chapter twenty three

“What happened to you?”

I can’t help to ask when we sit down in his car. He looks alarmed as if he forgot that he had those bruises on his face. Of course, I had to ask. I wanted to know what’s going on in his life. It looks like our days are all about me, but I want to know Harry. I want to know more about him.

“I got beaten,” he replies and my eyebrows raise.

“You got yourself beaten.” I scoff.

“This is why I don’t want to tell you things about me. You’re too immature.” He rolls his windows down.

“Why did you get beaten up?” I ignore his insult.

He starts the car and drives away, “I had to fucking sell some drugs and I didn’t. I need to give my boss the money on Monday. You know, this is your entire fault. I don’t have time for me.”

“My fault? It’s your fault. You’ve brought me to this.”

“Yeah, I brought you into this. I know it’s my fault, but it’s your fault that you’re making me feel this sort of way about you. It’s disgusting.”

I turn my face to him, “What do you mean? That’s so rude.”

Harry’s POV

I was close to tell her that I’m feeling a good sort of way about her. It’s disgusting, yes, because if I look at her, she has nothing I like, so why am I feeling this? Is it how perfectly that skirt marks her curves? Those breasts hiding behind her button-up shirt? How her dark hair is always in a ponytail? How she’s always pouting? How she’s always so innocent and oblivious? Is it because she’s different from all the women I’ve talked to? Different from Mo Frey?  

The thoughts of me bending her in a bed is adding up with thoughts of holding her hand. Did Marcos hit me hard enough to move my brain?

I hear her scream and my blurry vision becomes clear when I see that I’m driving in the opposite direction. A car is speeding towards me and the choice I have is to get out of the way, but when I do, I crash with a tree. I hit my head with the steering wheel and I look at Flo who looks like she’s about to fly and I push her back to her seat with my arm as fast as I could.

I feel pressure and hotness inside the car, the front window breaks. Its pieces start falling everywhere.

We were alive.

“God!” She cries.

This is her fault. Her fault for making us crash.

Smoke starts leaving the hood, “Get out of the car, now.”

We get out of the car and face the people who are crowding us. My nose is starting to bleed and I look how the car ended. It wasn’t mine anyways.

“Fucking shit.” I wipe my nose with my shirt. “Are you okay?”

Flo nods, but she looks overwhelmed. She looked perfectly fine I looked fucked up. God is on her side, but I’m forgotten.

“I am… you don’t look well at all.”

“Call an ambulance!” someone shouts.

“Leave us alone,” I shout back. I didn’t look well at all. I knew. This morning beating and this accident of course I didn’t look good.

“I have to get back. I don’t want the nuns getting worried…”

“Flo, don’t… don’t fucking nag me.” I let my forehead fall to my hand. It hurts.

“Can you guys please leave? I know you are all concerned, but give him air.” She asks in a soft voice.

“I’m perfectly fine…” I’m not even sure how fine I was though because I started vomiting on my boots.

Flo gasps, “Harry…”

“I needed to let that out.” My voice comes out high pitch and she grabs my arm.

“Let’s go to a hospital…”

“You’re making me feel like a bitch, fuck off.” I push her and instantly regret it. I start walking away, dodging the people asking for help. I hear Flo ask me to take the groceries out of the car.

Fuck the groceries. I’m out of here.

**

What are we doing in this night?

Walking around England, trying to find the resort. I didn’t come here since I was a teen after killing those women in the laboratory. After unconsciously being part of the massacre. I’m not a killer, but I am the same time. I am killer for others but not for myself because I don’t remember killing those women. Someone drugged me. I didn’t mean to kill Michael’s girlfriend, Niall’s… Zayn’s…

“You almost got us killed…” she whispers.

Nice timing.

I couldn’t tell Flo that I was part of that. She wouldn’t give me her trust.

Even though I was there, my hands were covered in blood… I know… I fucking know I didn’t kill those women.

“We’re taking the train.” I look at the train station from the afar.

“Train? Train to where? We’re not living England.”

“I want to leave England for a while. Since you can’t be by yourself, you’re coming with me.” I grab her wrist and pull her with me. She didn’t say anything, she looked tired, and I felt guilty for bossing her around.

Fuck, stop being a motherfucking pussy.

When we arrive, I notice it was just us waiting for the train. Who would get a train this late at night? We sit on the bench and she yawns, it contagious me and I yawn too.

“I’m starting live the weirdest things because of you…”

“Yeah?” I roll my eyes.

“It’s like… I’m starting to live.”

“You almost died.”

“Mhm…” she yawns again and when I’m about too, I stop. “I’m going to be on trouble. I should’ve stayed in the cabin.”

“You worry too much, Flo. Can you stop overthinking? For our sake. Please. Do that.”

She nods and rests her head on my shoulders. She closes her eyes when I put my chin on her head. I pity this girl. From a normal life to live this nightmare. I was finally feeling guilty.

I slowly move my shoulders so she could take her head off my shoulder. She looks embarrassed. With my hands, I gesture her to rest her head on my lap that is more comfortable. She does.

Yeah, there’s something definitely wrong with me.

“I’m getting my religious habit at the end of the month.”

I look down at her and she stares at me, waiting for me to say something.

I look at the coming train and sigh. What am I going to say about it? Congrats? The idea of her being a nun means that I won’t have her for me. That’s good. It’s good because I’m too bad for her. She’s too good for me. We don’t match, so that’s why when I’m done with Michael I should let her go. I can’t keep her with me. She will end up miserable. I need her goodness so much, but I can’t take it if she isn’t happy with my presence.

I’m officially a pussy.