Unpredictable | Luke Hemmings & Calum Hood. (Cake/5SOS)

Chapter 47

The school bell rang loudly, signaling that first period did end, but the two of us made no movement to part from each other or to leave this janitor's closet.

Luke wipes away at his tear-stained face, trying so desperately to compose himself in front of me, but still falling miserably as small tears escape his eyes in place of the old ones.

In most ways, I enjoy seeing Luke vulnerable, out of character, emotional, but not in this case. He seems broken, shaken up, and traumatized. I don't like seeing him so, so broken and it gives me shivers, sitting here comforting him, not really knowing what's going through his mind, but knowing I'm the pure cause of it.

He needed me. He fucking needed me and I completely ignored his existence for Michael while he just hurt, while he just hurt, knowing he was innocent of what I never verbally accused him of doing.

He knew what I thought and he tried desperately to reach contact with me. He called countless times. He left voicemails, and he even showed up at the house a few times to my surprise, but I still avoided him. His calls went missed, his voicemails unheard and I can't help but think how the outcome would be different if I just would've given in and picked up a call or even heard a voicemail or two instead of directly deleting them.

But this isn't about me, this isn't about how stupid and oblivious I've been the last week to the reality of things. I've been so locked in my house from the real world that I've forgotten what it's actually like out here and what actual shit life is.

"I'm sorry," I tell him honestly as he removes himself from my lap, sitting directly in front of me.

"It isn't your fault," he whispers, but it is. He knows I'm so at fault for this. Even if I'm not the one who spiked him, I'm definitely at fault and I don't need him to be lenient. His fragile state is becoming scary and worrying. He looks lifeless and at this point, I would want nothing more than for him to even yell at me for being with Michael, or anything for that matter.

"I don't have the best track record when it comes to us," he says confidently, only trying to make me feel better when he should be worrying about himself, not me. "If I were you, I would've thought I meant to fuck Tyler too. I wouldn't have picked up my calls either, or seen you because that would've been the last straw in my mind," he says and he's right. I did assume the worst because of his track record regarding us when I shouldn't have at all, I should've trusted him, but I didn't.

I would've never guessed he was spiked, completely out of it and unaware of what the hell he was doing.

"Who told you?" he asked and I replied with Ashton.

"Yeah, makes sense. He's been a bit worried about me lately," he tells me and I nod.

"I'm worried about you, too," I tell him and it's now his turn to nod.

"You don't remember anything?"

"No," he says, taking my hand in his, intertwining our fingers and squeezing slightly. "I've tried to, honestly I have, but it's like two different stories are jumbled in my head and I don't know which one's true. There's one of me coming into him fully and there's another where I'm just being forced against my cries even in my loopy unstable state."

My heart falls out of my chest as he continues. He seems calm, almost collected, like he's experienced this bundle of emotions before, knowing Luke, the boy's been to hell and back, but still seems to let it never get the best of him, like he expects it, like he expects life to kick him in the face, or almost as if he's immune to the kicking at this point.

"I haven't talked to Tyler since the morning after. He told me I was coming on to him, but if I'm being honest, I don't believe him. I can tell when he's lying to save his ass and we hadn't had intercourse since August. Sure, we had moments, but I never wanted to touch him again, not after I found out he was with Michael that one time," he says, his voice returning to normal, but I can see him shutter at the mention of Michael.