Unpredictable | Luke Hemmings & Calum Hood. (Cake/5SOS)

Chapter 21

I don't know when, but there did come a time when I finally just stopped crying. My breathing was still heavy and my chest was still rising and falling rapidly with every intake of breath. I sat in my car being devoured whole by Luke's words. They hurt. Damn, did they fucking hurt. There was so much truth behind his angry words, but there was also some worry and care for me within them. Deep within them.

"No, there wasn't. He doesn't give a fuck about you and that's how it's going to be, Calum. Stop trying to assume Luke is this good guy when he isn't. You know he isn't. You love Vanessa. End of story," my minds adds to my thoughts.

Sometimes, I feel as if my mind isn't even my mind. Maybe it's my mother programmed into my brain that's making me see and think things from her perspective. I don't want to see and think things from her close-minded perspective. I want to see things and think from my own bright, open-minded perspective. I can't help but feel that my own open-mindedness is wrong. So wrong. That what I feel isn't right, but wrong, disgustingly wrong. Wrong for society, myself, my mother, Vanessa. Maybe even my dad.

My thoughts suddenly trail to my father. What if he were to find out about my thoughts? What if he were to discover my self doubts about myself? What I like?

"More like what team you swing for," my mind rudely throws at me in a mocking tone.

What if he were to find out about all these confusing feelings I possess inside for Luke? Would he share the same views as my mother? Would he basically shun me and cut me out like I'm assuming she would if I were to actually share these feelings? You don't, Calum. You don't have these feelings to share, I try to convince myself.

I lay my head on the steering wheel as it begins to ache. Great. Just what I fucking need right now. A headache. As if my head isn't already pounding from my own thoughts alone.

My phone begins to ring and I immediately grab for it, hoping it's Luke. Maybe he's calling to apologize. Maybe he's calling to check up on me. I feel like a complete asshole and the only thing that can sooth this pain I feel everywhere is his reassuring, over-confident voice.

When I reach sight of my phone, all hope quickly fades as I see Vanessa's name across the screen.

"You know what they say about hope..." my minds trails off in a mock tone. "It breeds eternal misery."

My anger grows at the sight of her name on my screen. It's 11 o'clock. Shouldn't she think I'm in school? I groan and swipe my finger across the screen to answer the phone.

"Babe, what are you doing?"
I roll my eyes as soon as I hear the word babe roll off her tongue.

I muster up enough strength in my voice as possible and say, "I skipped classes. Not in the mood for teachers." No, you're just not in the mood to face Luke, my mind throws in.

"Aw. Babe, are you okay?"
I groan. She couldn't possibly know something's wrong. My voice sounds convincingly normal.

"Nothing. Just not in the mood to be taught bullshit lessons that won't help me whatsoever in life," I remark rather rudely into the phone, anger clear in my voice.

"Are you mad at me?" Yes...

"No, babe. I'm sorry," I say, forcing my voice to go soft. I shouldn't take my anger out on her. I shouldn't take my anger out on anyone but myself. I got myself in this confusing ass mess and I'm the only one who can get myself out. "The sad part is that you aren't going to do anything because you're a scared little kid, Calum. Admit it. You're going to stay with Vanessa and stay away from Luke," my mind retorts.

"I'm on my way to pick you up. I could go for some breakfast right now. Be in front of the house and don't wake up my mother. I'm in no mood to deal with her," I say while ending the call.