Unpredictable | Luke Hemmings & Calum Hood. (Cake/5SOS)

Chapter 37

In moments, the room around me begins to spin, allowing me to take in Luke's scent as his words of love float in the air. Love? What is love? A feeling of deep, intense affection. Luke couldn't possibly feel that. He couldn't and even if he did, it wouldn't be for me.

Luke's scent lingers around me and realization hits me from the unfamiliar smell radiating off him.

"Luke, what have you been doing tonight?" I ask shakily.

"Nothing."

"Luke, the fucking truth," I demand, looking him straight in the eye to just see how tired and deranged his blue eyes actually look. "Are you fucking high right now?" I ask, trying to hold back further cries that want to escape.

He nods his head and laughs a little at the end.

"I'm really high as of right now, but I needed to talk to you, so I came," he says as I place one of his arms over my shoulder and my hand firmly around his waist to lead him to the couch.

"Did you drive here?" I ask, annoyed.

"Yes."

"Are you fucking stupid? Wait, don't answer that. I'm pretty sure you are," I say as I gently place him on the couch. I don't dare sit next to him, so I stand firmly in front of him, a couple feet away, his words of love still floating in my mind teasingly.

"How am I stupid? I take Honors everything. If anything, I'll graduate valedictorian," he slurs, grabbing a pillow to hug.

"You aren't intellectually stupid. I meant to say you lack common sense. Why would you drive when you're high? You could've hurt someone! You could've hurt yourself," I try to say calmly, but I yell a little towards the end at how stupid he can be. He could've hurt himself and the last thing I need is someone else I deeply care about in the hospital on the verge of death.

"I drove here because I needed to see you. I can't take the pain in my chest I feel whenever I see you with Michael. I thought I could deal with it but I can't."

"Well, I can't take the pain in my chest whenever I see you with Tyler in public, but that doesn't give me the okay to show up at your house unannounced and high, proclaiming things I don't feel for people."

"What do you mean? I do love you and I'm sorry it's taken me a week apart and a really good blunt to finally realize that," he slurs and I cringe at the thought of him inhaling and exhaling the deathly thing. "Michael isn't good enough for you and I know this sounds foolish coming from because I'm sure as hell not good enough, either, but I know he isn't. He's playing you. I don't know why but every time I see you two together, I just want to kick his face in."

"You don't get to feel that way."

"What?" he questions.

"You don't get to feel jealous. You did this. You pushed me away, and you told me to leave. You left me for Tyler. You don't get to manipulate me using the guilt card. You can't just come back after a week of being gone, say you love me and expect me to come crawling back. No. This isn't how this works."

He stays silent and my anger suddenly overtakes my sadness as I realize what shit this week's been without him. As I realize how much I fucking needed him there, even if it was in secret or for a split second. Him just being there would've made everything okay, but he couldn't even be there.

"Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep at night over you this past week? Do you know how many times I had to plaster the fakest smile I've ever mustered during school whenever you and Tyler walked around as that picture perfect couple I know the two of you fucking aren't? Do you even know how much I've been through, worrying about my mother's possible death alone? No, you don't know. You know why? Because you left with him. You chose him. After everything, you chose him," I say angrily, not feeling a tear well up in my eyes. "If you weren't high, I'd kick you the fuck out, but then I'd regret it in the morning," I tell him honestly.