Darkness has a name: Peter Pan

Chapter 31

Diary entry 1

Well, I've been back for three days now. Life continued as if I never left. Months in Neverland, actual events I went through just vanished into thin air. I don't see the point in dating this entry because it appears time and days are not of the essence.

I found the satchel Peter gave me lying in my bed. Inside was the magic lamp. I tried rubbing the side but had no such luck. Magic didn't work here. Why would he leave it for me when there was no use for it? I emptied the entire bag searching for the letter I swore he put in.

Not finding that letter made me so angry, I cried. I needed more than what he left me with. A better explanation. Closure. Anything...

I put the lamp under my bed. I couldn't stand to look at it anymore. It symbolized wishes coming true and answers being revealed. Apart of me wanted to get rid out it but the other half of me wanted to keep it in reminder that what happened to me was real.

I haven't told anyone of what I went through. I mean who would even believe me? Whenever Peter's face comes up in my head, which was every second of every day, I pushed the memory out refusing to let myself feel. The wash of emotions I'd been hiding from crippled me. Dumping me into a pit of grief and insanity.

I existed in blackness.

Diary entry 2

Another week passed.

Seven long days I lived in limbo.

I did everything I could, waiting for some sort of reaction other than emptiness.

But nothing triggered a response.

I am sick of this bedroom. Sick of feeling nothing.

Diary entry 3

I had another nightmare. Always reliving the night I killed Sawyer.

I wonder if people can tell. As I walk down the street or see me in school. What would people say if they knew I was a murder? Capable of it.

Even if I was trying to spare him a painful death for a sharp and quick death. I still have to wake up every morning and face what I've done.

The nightmares are so vivid. Bright blood stains my hands. The violence of the night so real and alive.

The agony of the night is imbedded in my brain.

Haunting my dreams.

Diary entry 4

Your memory won't leave my head.

It's haunting me... Driving me crazy...

Everytime I close my eyes, you're there, ready to suck me into dark despair

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Tonight my father went out on a date. This woman was nice enough but it still angered me to see him happy. To see anyone happy.