For My Aching Soul

Chapter 28

I locked myself in my room, jumped into my bed, frantically unfolded Dr Gaines' letter to me and began to read.

Dear Lolita,

I am glad to know you feel as though this method of communication could work. However, what bothers me is that you plan to use writing as a weapon; a tool of mass destruction to ruin my peace. To be in your presence is torture enough when you do not even speak as much as I'd like you to, now I'll have your words on paper to keep me up at night. You are right, words have the ability to burn images into the mind but so does the human form. May I just say you are breathtakingly beautiful, Lolita. It's actually coincidental that you'd use this infamous pairing for code names (quite smart I must add) because the very first time I saw you I felt exactly how Humbert felt when he first saw Lolita. The difference is, I must never act on my feelings. While I am being driven wild with desires...I have a duty to you and that is the only thing I'll fulfill. Please do not make this harder for me.

Love,
A conflicted man.
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Dr Gaines words both made me feel mushy inside and sad because while he was almost admitting to having feelings for me, he was also telling me we could never be.

I wrote my response and folded it down to a cube.
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Dr Gaines' P.O.V.

Though I had the sense that Nicole might have had a crush on me, I never thought she would be brave enough to speak on it at all. Yet alone walk in here yesterday looking as ravishing as she did. I've been struggling with my feelings for her since our first real conversation. She was obviously hurting and perhaps that is apart of why I was attracted to her (the Doctor in me couldn't help it) but she was also very brilliant, obviously talented in ways I'm yet to discover, precocious, caring and strikingly beautiful. I wanted nothing more than to get close to her but I knew I couldn't. I hope my letter to her made that clear. My sole purpose was to help her deal with her emotions, not add to them.

I was expecting her in 5 minutes and as I watched the clock tick by I become increasingly nervous. Every time I saw her I had to take a few moments to collect myself. God...was she a sight, in both body and mind. There was suddenly a small knock on my door that pulled me from my inappropriate thoughts and I knew it was her...my Nicole.

"Come in," I said loudly enough for her to hear.

She entered my office wearing an army green body hugging wrap dress with black flip-flops. Though was she was wearing was quite simple, I had to keep my mouth from watering. Her hair was out as it was most times and I couldn't help but imagine what her curly gold locks would feel like with my hands knotted in them. She turned to close the door behind her giving me the perfect view of her perfectly molded behind. I had to tear my eyes away before my urges took over.

"Good morning Dr Gaines," I love the way she fucking says that.

"Good morning, Nicole," I smile and lean forward a bit.

She places a folded up letter down in front of me.

"What? No chest delivery today?" I joke.

She laughs at this as I unfold the letter and read it's contents.

Dear Mr Humbert,

I'll keep this letter short because I'll only be in your presence for two hours and the less time you spend reading this is the more time you'll spend admiring me in this dress. I know you said not to make it harder for you but I feel it's my duty to you to notify you that I am wearing absolutely nothing under it. I figured that perhaps you could examine me for a third time but let's keep this one off the records. I do have a particular ache that I think you could help me with.