We didn't talk the entire ride back to Harry's apartment. Harry kept one hand on the wheel and the other resting on his leg; he usually has our hands intertwined and resting on my leg. When we pulled into the parking lot he didn't open my door for me like he normally does, he just started walking towards the complex. In the elevator up to his floor he stated impatiently at the screen showing which floor we were on. When we got into the apartment and the door was shut and locked, I finally exploded.
"So that's it? You're just going to ignore me?" My arms were crossed and my voice was stern. I knew a war was coming, and I was preparing for battle.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Harry slowly turned from his stride to the bedroom and faced me. "You fucking expect me to have a conversation with you?"
"I get what I said wasn't the nicest, but that doesn't mean you should ignore me. All I said was the truth."
"And before my fucked up past didn't matter, but now because I don't want you going to that shitty concert it matters."
"That's not what I said."
"No, but it's what you meant, isn't it? You think that because you didn't fuck around like I did that you're better than me. You think you're safe. You think that if people try to force themselves onto you that you'll be able to resist it because you didn't fuck around before. Don't you get that you have a hard enough time standing up for yourself to me? Try doing it to a complete stranger."
"Jarod's not a complete stranger; I was just with you two all day."
"I don't give a fucking damn about Jarod, this isn't about fucking Jarod! And just because you spent a few hours with a person doesn't mean you know them."
"And just because you spent a few weeks with a person doesn't mean that you should move in with them."
"Now you're bashing me and my decisions with our relationship? That's just fucking gold! So I offered for you to move in here because you didn't have any place for your shit. And you agreed. Please, tell me more on how I fucked this whole thing up."
"I didn't say you messed this up-."
"But it's what you meant. Just say it. Tell me that I'm fucking awful at being a boyfriend. Tell me that I was the worst mistake that you've ever made. Tell me that you regret all of the shit that we've fucking done. Just fucking say it."
What worried me was how monotone Harry's argument was. Yes, we were both yelling our heads off at each other, but he had little to no emotion in what he was saying. Did he not care anymore? Was he just done with me?
"Harry, I don't think that you were a mistake at all. I told you earlier today that I love you."
"Then how come after I fucking open up to you, the person who claims loves me, I tell you about my family, and then you throw my recent past in my face? If you loved me you should accept me for that shit. We've been dating for over a moth and I have yet to go fuck another girl," Harry said. Emotion was finally starting to fill his voice as he took a seat on the couch. "Is it that fucking bad that I want to protect you? If I was able to go to that shit hole of a concert with you I would. I just want to make sure you're safe. Is that so fucking wrong? Katie, you mean so much to me, you should know that. If anything happened to you-," he cut himself off. "If you're going to be with me, you're going to have to work with me being a little controlling and all my shit. My life has always spiraled out of control and I'm trying to regain balance."
I took a seat next to Harry and thought about what he said. He straight up told me that I wouldn't be in control and that he was taking the reins of my life. "Harry," I sighed. I tried to remain as calm as possible; the calmer I was the more likely he was to listen and not shut down. "I care about you so much. It meant a lot to me that you told me about your past with your family. When I said what I did earlier I didn't mean to say it, but I'm not going to take it back and apologize because it's the truth. I appreciate that you've been faithful to me, I really do, and I get that you want to be protective, but I'll be ok. Jarod doesn't seem like the type of guy that would force himself onto me, and if he did I would just call you to come pick me up. And I want to be with you, I really do. I love you, but I'm not going to sit here and let you control me. That's not fair. I'm my own person and you have to accept the fact that I can make my own choices."
