𝗚𝗢𝗧𝟳 𝗜𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 𝟭

depression ; jb

jb as boyfriend

Song Recommendation: The A Team; Ed Sheeran

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Depression isn't about cutting wrists. It isn't about popping pills or sniffing crack.

It's staying up late at night feeling empty as sadness gnaws away at you. It's holding yourself so tightly because if you don't you're afraid you'll fall apart. It's faking smiles, faking laughs.

It's saying 'I'm okay,' when you're not. It's crying in your room alone, while a voice whispers in your mind: 'You're not worth it,' It's not understanding why you're crying in the first place, just the tears are flowing and they can't stop but you don't know why.

You just cry and cry and cry hoping that you're sadness will hopefully disappear along with the tears. But it doesn't and all you can do is fall asleep, hoping not to wake up the next day.

You should know, God knows you should know. Self-diagnosed with depression at 15, you spent most nights, looking blankly at your bedroom wall, allowing the emptiness to just take over. There were times when you thought it was gone but, no it came back everytime, worse than ever. Tired of living but yet afraid of dying, you were stuck in limbo for 3 years, sometimes better sometimes worse, but always there.

That was, of course until someone reached out. Someone who looked past the happy, robotic mask you put on. Someone who saw your inner demons and instead of running, faced them with you. Someone who made you smile an actual genuine smile after nearly 3 years. Someone who made you feel worth something again. Someone who made life worth living.

'Jagi,' a deep voice breaks through your memories. Startled, you're clear (E/C) eyes look up at your boyfriend, Im Jaebum.

'Yes?' you ask.

'Is it back?' he asked concerned, looking into your eyes.

'No, I'm okay,' you say repeating the well-known words but this time meaning it.

Pulling you closer to him, you enjoy his warmth as his fingers intertwine with yours, leaning your head against his shoulder. 'I love you,' he whispers into your ear, grinning.

Standing on your tiptoes, you kiss him on the cheek. 'Thank you,' you reply, smiling.

Confused, he asks. 'For what?' a perplexed look on his face.

'For loving me,' you reply simply as both of you walk hand-in-hand down the street.

The words were so simple yet so true. Thank you for fixing all my broken pieces. For loving me when I couldn't even love myself. For being there. For seeing the real me and yet not running away. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

(Hey so this was mainly inspired when I got my depression and how GOT7 essentially cured it. They filled that emptiness inside me and now, whenever I get those moments, all I have to do is close my eyes and think of them. Mark's smile. Jaebum's singing. Jackson's laugh. Jinyoung's savageness. Youngjae's kindness. Bam Bam's dabbing and finally Yugyeom's cuteness. So, I need to thank them, thank them for fixing all those broken pieces of me.

For all those who have experienced depression, I'm sure you know, it's not easy. But just know, whoever's reading this, YOU ARE WORTH IT.)