❶❽⓪ Lbs
November 28, 2016
The following morning Shaniqua whipped out one of her magical meals as her cell phone rang loudly, interrupting an intellectual conversation I was having with Vik about the impact of human evolution on the environment and the consumption of natural resources and minerals.
Okay, that was a lie. We were arguing over whose butt was curvier: Kim Kardashian or Nicki Minaj.
Shaniqua grabbed our attention with an announcement. "That was the funeral home. They found a burial spot for Barbara-Anne and it's next to her husband."
I clapped joyously. "That's great news!"
Vik looked at Shaniqua. "So when is the funeral?"
Shaniqua tossed her phone onto the counter. "Today."
"Today?" I shouted. "I'm not ready! I'm still working on my photo collage and I've only barely started on my PowerPoint slideshow."
Vik rolled his eyes. "Viola, that collage is ugly."
I scoffed. "Hey, ugly can be turned beautiful."
"Viola, ugly can't be turned beautiful. This isn't Instagram."
"Has anyone heard from Christos?" Shaniqua asked.
I waved my phone in the air. "He hasn't called yet."
Shaniqua stuck her finger in my face. "You're going to be there, right?"
I made a face at her, completely offended. "Of course I am. Why on earth would you think that I wouldn't?"
"Didn't you once skip a funeral for a McDonald's breakfast special?"
"Okay, first of all, it was a wedding. And second of all, the coupon I was planning to use expired that morning."
Vik slid his phone out of his pocket. "I'll let Remy know."
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