I'm A Loser

Carry That Weight

It was a lot of crying the next few days, but today was the day of the funeral. Paul had been to too many funerals, especially considering he wasn't even 20. And he was absolutely terrible at dealing with deaths. But nevertheless, Paul dressed his best, he put on the suit that Lizzy said he looked best in and Paul put a piece of paper in his pocket-saving it for something. Linda was in a black dress an Lucy's friend was there to watch Julian.

"See ya later, Jules." Paul said with a kiss.

"Bye, Sweetie." Linda said and the two went out the door.

George was gonna be there, he was able to be out of the hospital for just a few hours today. They arrived at the building and Paul got out of the car with Linda.

"Oh dear God." Paul said.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm terrified." Paul said quickly.

"You can do it, Sweetie." Linda assured him.

Paul never understood how Linda managed to stay strong through all of this. He walked in with Linda and sat uncomfortably close to the open casket. Liz still looked beautiful; she looked so peaceful. That was probably the only good thing that came out of this, Liz was finally at peace and away from Paul and his hectic life. Paul hadn't sat down for 10 minutes before he began crying again.

"Oh Paulie please try to stay calm at least until after your speech." Linda begged him.

His speech.

He had forgotten all about it.

A man walked up to the podium and began speaking. After Lizzy's relatives spoke, it was Paul's turn.

Hands shaking, lips trembling, and a tear already on his cheek, Paul began to talk.

"Well, I'm not too sure if I'll manage to get through this, but I'll do my best." Paul started. "Lizzy was such a beautiful girl- inside and out. I have never met anyone so willing to help others even when she was in a great need of help. As you all probably know, Liz was a bit depressed at times and she did cut. But I was okay with that, because I do too sometimes. Lizzy helped me through all of that though, she was a friend when she needed to be, someone a bit closer than a friend when she needed to be, and was always exactly who she needed to be when the time was appropriate. She was an amazing friend, a loving girlfriend, and the best supporter I'll ever have. Lizzy was a giver. I always asked her for help and assurance but rarely did she ask me for anything in return. Lizzy was there for me when my partner, John, passed away and now they're having a grand time up there." Paul said as he looked up at the ceiling. "I honestly wouldn't be alive if Liz hadn't come into my life. She saved me so many times and I...I didn't save her." Paul began to cry.

"I love you, Lizzy." Paul said as he blew a kiss towards her body.

Paul sat back down next to Linda.

"Great job, Sweetie." Linda whispered.

Paul kissed her cheek and George stood up and went to the podium.

"Hello." George said in his thick accent. "As you all probably know, I was Lizzy's boyfriend and uh- she was lovely. I remember when we first met- I was all alone sitting under a tree and Liz came over to me, a complete stranger at the time, and offered to help me stop cutting. And I remember as soon as we got up, we uh- we fell in a puddle and we both laughed and that's when I knew she was the one. Her lovely eyes and gorgeous face. And like Paul said, she was beautiful inside and out. I just wish you all knew her like I did. And whenever I would be a bit depressed. Liz would come over and tell me everything would be okay. And when she found out I had cancer, she didn't leave me, even though I had a 4% chance of living. She was the one who got me to go through the surgeries I never would've if she hadn't been there. Lizzy saved me...and I feel awful that I wasn't able to be near her during her last few days. And I wish I could've been near her more often so she knew how much I adored her. Lizzy was just beautiful, gorgeous, and everything that you could possibly dream of. And I hope Liz is doing great up there now. I love you, Miss Lizzy." George said and went to go sit down.