I'm A Loser

Julia

"John, it's your Aunt Mimi on the phone!" George called out.

John hurried down the stairs with Paul following him. He grabbed the phone.

"Hello, Mimi." John said not wishing to talk to her.

"John..." She said with an unfamiliar tone.

"Is-is something wrong, Mimi?" John asked worried.

He heard crying on the phone.

"Mimi, what's happened?!" John shouted.

John heard the sound of ambulances passing by outside.

"Mimi! What's happened?!" He asked once again.

"John...she's dead." Mimi said.

"Who?" John asked.

"Your mum, Jul-" John hung up the phone before Mimi could finish.

John ran to his room and slammed the door. Paul hurried back up to the room not knowing what news John had received.

"Get out!" John screamed.

"Wh-what happen?" Paul asked innocently.

"I said get out!" John screamed with tears flowing from his eyes.

"John, I can help-"

"GET OUT!" He cried.

Paul left and closed the door behind him.

John wanted to be alone, he needed to be alone. His mum was the only person in his family that he felt that he was truly related to. She helped him get our of school, she helped him through problems, and she was the one who introduced him to music. She taught him how to play. John could picture in his mind, his mum and her red hair playing her banjo and teaching John a song. John tried to keep the image in his head but he was already losing sight of her. He tried to remember all the times he spent with her but then he realized he didn't have a lot of times to remember. He was taken away by Aunt Mimi when he was young. He grew up with a strict guardian. Too many things were going through his mind that he needed to let out.

John grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper. He scribbled a small drawing of a girl-she had red hair, a little dress, and had a great smile across her face. John wrote the name 'Julia' all around the paper. Tear drops fell on the paper, smudging some of the letters.

Nervously, Paul tried to come in again.

"John? Are you alright?" Paul asked still not knowing what happened.

John didn't yell this time, he was silent. Paul walked in and stood behind John. Paul looked at the older man's drawing.

"John, did she-" Paul couldn't finish his question because John had suddenly gotten from his chair and wrapped his arms around Paul.

"She's gone, Paul! I'm never gonna see my mum again!" John cried. "She's gone!"

Paul hugged John back. "I know how you feel John."

"No you don't!" John shouted stepping away from Paul.

"John, I do." Paul said.

"How the hell would you know?!" John cried, pulling at his hair.

"Because...my mum's dead too." Paul said.

John looked up at Paul from his spot on the ground. "Paul I didn't know..."

"It's alright John. She died last year of cancer." Paul said crouching down to John.

"Paul...how the hell did you manage with it? I feel like I'm dead without her." John said still crying.

"I don't know, to be honest you never really get over it. You just try to keep it as far away from your thoughts as you can." Paul said.

"I miss her already..." John said.

Paul kissed him on the forehead. "I promise it gets better, Love."

John nodded.

"How-how did you get better?" John asked.

"You just have to kinda let it out and accept that it's happened. My mum always told me to let it be so, I did." Paul answered.

"Thanks, Paul." John said and hugged him.

"Anytime John." Paul said and let John be by himself.

John grabbed the pencil and paper and began to write.

"I'll do anything for you,

Anything you want me to"

John tried to write more but he couldn't at the moment.

He decided to go over to Mimi's. He came in and saw Mimi crying in the chair. He'd never seen the woman cry after all of his years with her. Neither of them said anything, John just walked over and hugged her.

Mimi quickly managed to stop crying in front of her nephew.

"The-the funeral's in five days, John. I got you some nice clothes to take back to George's for when you need them.

"Thank you, Mimi." John said and went to the door.

"Oh John wait- there's one more thing." Mimi said hurrying to pull something out of a box.

She handed it to John.

"Mum's banjo?" John asked.

Mimi nodded. "She would've wanted you to have it."

John nodded and left.