Blurry Vision ∷ Daredevil; Matthew Murdock

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Chapter 28

All we are is an isle of flightless birds
We find our worth in giving birth, and stuff
We're lining our homes against winding roads
And we think the going is tough
We pick songs to sing, remind us of things that nobody cares about
And honestly, we're probably more suicidal than ever now-

I hear the training room door swing open and I finish laying a punch on the bag and I pull out my ear buds and look back at Foggy who is standing there, staring at me without saying anything. I wipe the sweat from my head and wave my hand slightly, "Uh... earth to Foggy? Come in-"

He walks over to me and gives me a giant hug, and I immediately freeze up, I stop breathing, and my heartbeat starts to pound out of control.

He doesn't seem to notice because he doesn't let go, but I just stand, frozen, eyes pricking threatening to spill tears. Don't touch me!

Please don't touch me!

Get off me!

Let go!

Let me go!

Go away!

My mind screams for me to say something, but I just stand frozen until he pulls away and looks at my extremely paled face and my shaking hands.

"Ember?" He questions lightly. I quickly suck in a deep breath and push him out of the room, locking it behind me, attempting to catch my breath and not have a panic attack. Am I so broken that when someone tries to give me a hug all I can do is remember the times when I've been thrown into walls, dragged up stairs, pushed down stairs, and remember when no one would believe me when I had bruises all littered up and down my arms, but they would heal in the matter of days so no one would ever believe me? They all thought I was high or drunk, making things up.

It was just Foggy. He just hugged me... I don't know why but he did. It was just Foggy. He's friends with Matt. Right? Yeah... just remember... no one here is going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you, not again, never again.

"Ember? What's wrong?" I hear Foggy's voice call through the door, causing a few tears to fall from my eyes.

I made him worried. I made him panic. I made him go out of his way for me... no no no, he'll be mad at me. He's going to be mad at me. No ones good when they're mad. No one.

I release my hair from my pony tail, letting it fall around me, and I grab at it, trying to show myself that I'm okay. You're fine. It was just a hug. You've been hugged before. Skyler hugged you. Aimee hugged you. Mom hugged you... so that's the trend, isn't it. All the good things in my life are women... and they all end up dead and gone away from me, don't they?

The only people who stick around are males... my dad, Wade, Frank, Steven, Tony, Matt, Brian, and now Foggy... why?

Why? Why why?! Why must this happen to me? Why does every guy I meet end up turning on me? Why does every guy I meet end up hurting me?

"Ember." I look up at the door. He says it just like mom... how? "Breathe, Ember, breathe."

I listen and I start to count to twenty, breathing in on odd, breathing out on even. It's fine. You're fine. You just had... a bit of an asthma attack- no. I haven't had one of those since I was four.

I use the wall to help myself up, and I clear my eyes of tears before opening the door and see Foggy helping Matt stand up. I look over at him, feeling guilty and extremely depressed, but I wrap my arm around Matt's waist and I reach an arm up to hold onto his shoulder.