Temptation

chapter 44

(so this is the chapter that somehow got deleted. i have to re write it again,ugh! if you already read it, its fine you wont have to read it again. but, the chapter wont be exactly the same since i dont plan the chpters out but its still the same events that happen :) )

i woke up to feeling hot, too hot. i look over my shoulder and see that harrys arm is warpped tightly around my waist and the heavy blanket is covered over both of us, doubleing the heat in my bed. 

i get out of Harrys embrace smoothly so i dont wake him and walk over to the window seat to open up the window that overlooks a various amount of trees. when i open the window, the slight breeze automatically rushes through my bedroom, the sky is a light gray signaling that it will probably rain soon.

i decide to take out the journal that i keep hidden underneath the black cussion of the window seat. i feel like i haven't written in this black leather book in ages, which is because i havent. 

i open the book and scan throught the pages until i get to the last entry i've written in. Septemember 21 is written on the top right corner of the white lined pages. remebering writing this entry bring back bad memories. 

junior year of high school.

the year that made me life start to crash and fall. the year my best friend, well now ex best friend, amanda,  turned her back on me in such a horrible way. 

as i reread this entry i start to feel sad all of a sudden. i still cant figure out why she would do these types of things to me. she would randomly start laughing at me during class or while i would be walking through the halls or standing at my locker. her and her new possy of friends would point at me and laugh while looking me up and down, probably making jokes about my hair or the type of shoes i was wearing. 

i would try to act like i was paying no mind to them but the echoing of their laughing and loud talking would sometimes bring tears to fall down my cheeks; i would always wipe them away quickly before they even got a glimpse of me being weak, 

i remember when i had to drop one of my classes just so i wouldnt have to face some of the people there. i would constantly rearrange my busy schedule of a school day just so i would have to deal with any of that type of torture. 

one time, a  senior guy with long hair down to his shoulders, dropped my stacks of books out of my hand and then kicked them all over the hall, making people laugh all around me. In gym class, girls would corner me in the locker rooms and call me names that Amanda proabably told them that i was. 

i even tried to talking to Amanda one time to see what i possibly did for her to stab be in the back. she just laughed in my face, making it seem like the knife was gliding against my bare skin, making me cry out in pain and have a scar left behind. a scar, like a memory. A memory of how Junior year would never be forgotten. 

And with that, i look over at the person who lays peacfully on my bed. His face looking angel-like in the dim lighting in my room. his mouth slightly opened for air and his arm wrapped around the pillow. 

its strange to see someone who is so dark and mysterious, seem so special to me. He's someone i never thought i'd be interested in, even the slightest. 

He's always been there when something went wrong. and the sorry look he always has in his eyes for me makes me believe that he really does care. he cares about my feelings, how i'll react to the stuation. he cares about me.

he is one of the few people that haven't hurt me in any way yet possible. yet, i thank him mentally for that each and every minute, hour and second i spend with him.

we may be oppsites in the visualization way but on the inside we have some similarities. 

everything that has just come to mind about him, is now spread over the journal page in dark blue print. the first time in months i've written in this journal and this entry just happened to be about him.