Chapter 42

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"I want to tell my mother." I blurt out quickly as soon as my body sits down next to his on the large white sofa.

His eyes are closed and his head is later back.

"I'm pretty sure she gets the picture that we're going out." He says.

"No, that's not what I mean." I tell him.

I want to tell my mother everything that had happened. Starting the what happened at the party to now.

His head shoots up and his almost back to green eyes meet mine.

"you want to tell her about today?"

I nod. "And everything that has happened."

His mouth opens slightly and his eyes look away from mine. He blinks a couple times before swallowing hard.

"Is that necessary?" He asks. His gaze is still glaring onto the rug and chews on his bottom lip.

"Yes, it is. I can only imagine how she'll react when she gets the phone call from school."

I already know what she'll do. She'll throw a tantrum and point her finger in my face while screaming until her neck veins are visible. She'll hold everything against me and say it's my fault for being a 'whore' for even going up those stairs that night.

Harry doesn't answer.

"Harry," I call out to him. "Should I not tell her?" I ask him.

He chuckles quietly. "She so fucking stubborn, Beth. Will she even believe you?"

He's sort of right.

She probably won't believe since it's been so long that I've kept it hidden away from telling people. She'll probably think I'm just lying again to cover up any story as to the things that occurred today and school.

I hate that It will be hard to gain Backyard mothers trust. I hate lying to her, I really do. But sometimes telling her the truth
will even be worse than having to face the consequence of my lie.

I miss the times when I wouldn't have anything to hide against my parents.I mean, I know I still hide the fact that I love art and photography..but I never lied or held anything against my parents that was so big and life changing.

"Beth." Harry's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "Don't get upset about it." He pads his thumb across my cheek, wiping an unexpected tear that I didn't know has fallen.

Another tear starts to roll down but I catch it quickly before it falls. "I just hate this." I tell him.

"I hate everything. I hate that this all had to happened. Why me?"

I've always wondered. Why did all of this have to happen to me? I just had to move here and this is the place where everything and everyone began falling apart. My family is ruined, and now y chances of ever being able to 'fit in' or be just like the people around me are slightly impossible.

"It's just," I sniffle. "Just as I thought everything was getting back to normal and I was starting to get just a little happy again this just had to happened." I wave my hands in the air.

The tears start to fall faster and I place my head into my hands to cover my face .

"It's okay." I feel Harry's warm hand on my back and he strokes it up and down. "It'll be okay." He whispers.

I lift my head back up and brush my hair out of my face.

"No it won't. My life Is ruined, Harry. Those pictures clearly show the opposite of what really happened. They clearly show the opposite of me and for that, my life is ruined.-" I look over at the empty fire place and take a deep breath to try and calm down.

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