Missing you (Book One)

Chapter 28 :The Regret

The lid to my anger finally popped off when I heard that familiar voice ring through Zendaya's phone. Jay.. even saying this name made me sick to my stomach, what was she doing there and with him?. My mind went on over drive.

Then I remembered.. I beat her and raped her last night. I fucked up.. and bad. I can't believe I even layed a hand on her like that or even forced her too something she didn't feel comfortable doing. My heart clenched.

All those thought's of her leaving me one day were coming true. EVerything that made me feel upset or depressed were rushing in at full speed making me feel choke on sobs. Why the fuck did I do that too her?!.

How could I.? How could she run to Jay?. I mean I know they had a long past. Highschool sweetheart's and all... but when she met me all that changed.. and I was the one. Suddenly .. I knew .. that we weren't really right for each other.

No matter how hard I tryed to picture her with someone else my blood boiled. All those horrible images were coming true. She was with Jay at his house, crying on his shoulder and hugging him telling him everything.

Taking comfort in him. Why the fuck should I feel sorry for myself ? I was a self centered asshole who saw red and raped and beat his long time girlfriend. I looked up at the wall, feeling the after affects of everything take a toll on me.

I just hoped if I saw Zendaya again she would forgive me, tell me everything was okay.. and maybe just maybe come back to  me. but there was that one little part ..inside of me that knew she wouldn't be back.

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I awoke to a loud thud beside me. My heart felt heavy and my eyes wouldn't open. Finally I moved my arm around too feel a muscled chest, "Morning Zendaya" I low voice whispered in my ear. I opended my eyes slightly too see Jay kneeling beside me.

"Morning" I croak out my throat clenching. "How are you feeling " He says eyeing me, "Honestly?" I say meeting his green eyes. "Yeah, only the truth". "Horrible."I say looking down at my hands. He didn't say anything and got up.

He walked into a larger room and returned shortly with some blue rolled up jeans, a star coverd sweater and converse. "Here put these on" He says looking at me sweetly. "Where did you-" "They were my friends she grew out of them"

Somehow I knew it was a lie and a sore subject so I left it alone. 'Well thank you" I say grabbing the iteams from him. He lead's me into a room and closes the door. I walk in and see light blue wall paper, the floor the same tan color. A larger bed in the corner and A T.V aswell. 

I walk into the bathroom and change quickly brushing out my long brown hair and letting out and deep sigh. I walk back into the bedroom and a picture catches my attention. I walked over too it and grabed  it softly.

It was Jay and A girl. Smiling at each other a large lake in the background. Were these her clothes? I set it down and walked back into the living room. "There you are" He says grabbing my arm and pulling me into a hallway where his front door is.

"Ready" He ask's eyeing me. "Yeah " I say as he hold's the door open for me. "This way Z" He says pushing me too his badass car. "Wow" I say giving him a look. "I know" He chuckles and opends the door for me.

Once i'm in he seat belt's me and runs too his side and starts the car. "Where are we going?" I say looking at him. "Remember sleepy head. I'm bringing you to the Carnival and then were going to the movies" He laughs. I can;t help but laugh too,

"Sound's great" I say, maybe starting over .. wasen't so bad?