The Life of Leah Clearwater (Book Two)

Chapter 8 - We're living our lives. Nothing exciting.

March 16th, 2007

One year. 365 days have passed. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. 31,536,000 seconds. Those are the exact calculations to every hour, minute, and second that have passed since Harry Clearwater died. Shit I try to con myself into believing the stuff I read at his funeral. Oh he’s just in the other room. Well truth is he isn’t. He’s fucking dead. He’s in some polished pine box, with metal handles on the sides. He’s buried beneath 6ft of dirt, and other shit that’s in the ground. He’s been covered with snow, and grass. It’s rained on him, and shined. He no longer feels anything. He doesn’t see anything. I was asked if I was coming back to see his grave today. What the hell let’s have a tea party at it. I’ve been sitting here in the sunroom for at least an hour. It’s 1:03am. Hunter crashed, he was exhausted. I slipped down here, due to the inability to sleep. I’m just going to sit here, and not have anything to write.

I woke up and crept downstairs. Leah’s journal was left open on the couch. There was no sign of her anywhere. “Leah?” I looked around. Her car was in the driveway. I shouldn’t pry, but I went back and read the journal entry. “Shit.” I scrambled out to the kitchen grabbing the phone off the stand.

“Hello?” Sue’s voice was on the other end.

“Hi, Leah with you?” I waited.

“No she’s not. Hunter what’s going on?”

I sighed, “I just woke up. She wrote a rather angry entry in her journal, and it being Harry’s anniversary.” A sigh came from the other end of the phone. “She wouldn’t do something stupid right? I just don’t know where she is. She’s not said anything.”

I waited for Sue’s response. “Hunter more than likely, she’s at his grave, or the cliffs. I will let Charlie know, and the others.”

I quickly dressed, “Alright, I’m on my way down. See you soon.” I hung up, and ran down the stairs, and hopped in my car.

When I arrived at the cemetery it was cool out. I parked near his stone with Sue, Charlie, and Seth. Curled up with her head against the stone, was my beautiful fiancé. Her tear stained cheeks broke my heart. Her body shuttered every so often from soft sobs. Her eyes were closed, her arms wrapped around her, almost like she was trying to stay warm. Maybe trying to ward off the numbness. I walked over slowly and squatted beside her, “Leah are you ok?”

She stirred, and tears started again. I looked up in Sue’s direction, and shook my head. She walked over with Charlie. Seth sat down on the ground. She opened her eyes, they were stained red. I sat down, pulling her into my lap, and just holding her. Seth moved closer to me, and held her hand. Charlie stood with Sue, and they remained quiet. After some time, we decided to leave. Leah walked like a zombie to the car. Seth hugged her, and then climbed back in the car. Sue and Charlie hugged Leah, and then left. I opened the door for Leah, and she curled up on the front seat. She was wounded, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I reached in, and put her seatbelt on for her. I walked around, and climbed in myself. I sat there and just gently stroked her hair. She dozed off while we sat there. I finally decided to head back to our house.

March 18th, 2007

A year ago I was sitting in a church, listening to everyone talking, remembering my dad. I had to get up and speak. I think I would have rather joined my dad that day in the dark place he was. My soul had died. It still existed in my body, but it wasn’t the same. I died. Ugh I just don’t have the energy to do this. I feel horrible. Hunter is trying desperately. I’ve not had an appetite. I just want to sleep. Tomorrow I return to school. I’ve ruined our whole weekend. Hunter’s just laid with me, and held me. I’ve cried so much. “Baby let’s get you into a hot bath. I will wash you up. You can get back into pajamas ok?” He helped me bath. God I’m so pathetic. I just can’t do this today. I need to sleep.